This is by far one of the strangest things I have seen for sale on Ebay:
Purchase 1 square foot of Lochaber in Scotland with "fishing rights" to the river.
Benefits: You can frame a certificate on your wall and call yourself "Lord", "Laird" or "Lady" of Lochaber. Even if you've never been to Scotland.
1. This is a bit sad - do people really need to impress others this much? Why am I asking this, of course they do!! It's still sad though. People really say "I am Lord of Lochaber, this is my official certificate (that you can buy on Ebay for $49.95 plus 9 bucks postage & handling?)
2. How do you get to your square foot of land? By helicopter?
3. Can other Lairds and Ladies shoot you for stepping on their square foot of land?
4. The official name for your square foot of land is a "Sporting Estate". What is the sport? Hopping?
5. As a new member of the Scottish aristocracy, the activities you can enjoy on your estate are:
fishing, bird watching, fungi spotting and picnicing. Just be sure you bring a small blanket!
6. Not only do you have a new title, but you will now have airport staff, hotel staff and country club staff falling all over you and giving you free gifts. Indeed. Unless of course, you happen to be travelling with another 200 or so Lords and Ladies with identical titles.
7. You are not allowed to build on the land. I think this is ridiculous. I have the perfect country estate that I borrowed from my Monopoly board.
I should have thought of this years ago. I could sell sqare centimetres of land with exclusive title to ladybugs, blades of grass, and moth and dirt rights. At $29.95 it would be a steal. I'd be a millionaire by now. And if I bought one for myself, I'd be a member of the Scottish aristocracy with land and title and the right to oppress all that enter my domain. Bugs, feathers and lost golf balls, be warned! You are about to meet your new ruler.
Sincerely, Lady of Lochaber.
(If you don't believe me, I'll fork out the $59 bucks and show you my authentic certificate)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Weirdorama Ebay Stuff