And now, from the people who brought you Paris Hilton and the mankini, please welcome...
Or Bikini Jeans
Or "Avert thine eyes because you are about to be frightened severely"
These jeans were actually invented by a Japanese company that obviously thought the tacky g-string showing-over-the-low-rise abomination wasn't enough.
Let's be honest here. I don't care if you're Elle Macpherson, if you wear these jeans it's going to be hideous. And here's food for thought...try sitting down in them. This would of course, introduce a new aspect to the Bikijean - the added bonus of a butt crack!
This just keeps getting better and better. These jeans should come with various warnings such as:
"please refrain from sneezing"
"avoid any seating areas with backless chairs"
"do not eat while wearing these jeans"
"avoid stores with metal racks and sharp objects or you might find yourself caught in a rather embarrassing bind"
Old ladies beware - you are going to get a whole lot grumpier. Actually, I'm beginning to agree with them. I am a grumpy young woman and proud of it! Now, to continue my grump...
This picture above shows a very skinny model in these jeans. It doesn't show her walking, because that would be quite difficult unless you have recently had a Brazilian or don't mind flashing the 'ole sidewinders.
What you see in the photograph is a myth. When you go down to the local fish and chip shop or milk bar you are almost guaranteed to be confronted daily by a Kath & Kim style frightmare. This will not end prettily.
...and you know it won't stop there. I shudder to even ask the question "what's next?"
Apparently these jeans are marketed for an exclusive audience - the "very thin". Hmmm, you know what? I think someone's got a thing about seeing girls' bits. It took a bit of digging but I think I'm on to it now...
Seriously, the Bikijean. Yes or No?
Monday, January 19, 2009