My wardrobe is filling up slowly. I have slacked off from my "buy 1 item of clothing per week". Why? I don't know. It was going so well. Ebay is like Chi or something, if one bit gets blocked, everything falls on it's bum. I could have been more scientific about it but there it is.

My latest purchase sort of stopped me in my tracks. Surprisingly, it's yet another pair of corduroy jeans in brown (yes, I am a fashion goddess).

The problem with this last pair is not the fit (although they are a tad too big), not the style, but the colour. It is too light! In the photo it looks kind of mid-brown but when I opened the package, it was sort of a light cappucino. Not my thing, really.





















I suppose I'll have to sell them now and I don't know what it is but I haven't had much luck with selling anything. I sold a $40 music instruction book for 0.99c and it just goes on from there.

My latest sale - the guy had a wrong address registered on Ebay, I sent it to the registered address and surprise surprise! It didn't get to him. He seemed quite miffed. Then it came back to me, boomerang-style. Then...(grrhrhrrh)... he asked me to post it to him again, to another address. Guess who had to pay the extra postage?? Now he hasn't bothered to contact me so I don't know if it has reached him or not. Nor has he left feedback. I might give up selling and start donating more to charity or something.

technorati tags: Ebay clothing

I can't really find the words...so...I thought I'd give you this....
















The Key To My Heart

In the description, it seems to indicate that you might melt if you received one of these. I think they meant barf.




This one is kind of interesting until you think about it...














Misspelled Ebay Items

You know what? I don't think I trust any of these people enough to buy their Iod. Or their Nitedo. If they can't spell it, I don't want it. Attention to detail is pretty important. And it doesn't bode well for the hassles of sorting out payment methods and delivery.

P.S. Nice touch with the fake software box. It's actually a toolbar...probably loaded with spyware...I'm not going to buy it to find out...




And of course, who can resist a listing that starts with

"dear hopeful lottery winner..."

Hmmm. Promising.









Cheat Lottery System

Question - why would someone who has the clairvoyant / scientific / bullshit ability to cheat the lottery system be needing to sell anything on Ebay for ten bucks? Hmmmm.....

Oh I know...

"...because of my amazing discovery, I just couldn't sleep until I shared the idea with the world because it makes me happy to be helping people....yada yada yada




And finally....
















Exploding Money Box

That's right, kids. This is seriously funny, scare your friends, film them and put it on YouTube. Oh, no, hang on. Isn't that dangerous? And sort of mean?
But...it's YouTube. Oyeah it's like...sohot.



Yes. That's right. I am a tad irritable today.

technorati tags: weird ebay youtube

I don't know why but I am ravenous this morning. I even paid $5 for a pastie at a bakery this morning because I couldn't bear the thought of not having one. I paid the very patient lady in 10c pieces because that's all I have at the moment. Thankfully she didn't think I was too weird. She just had a bit of a wry smirk at the corners of her mouth. I didn't mind. I got my pastie. I actually wanted quiche because it happened to be the nicest quiche I have ever tasted but this turned out to be the one day when they didn't have any quiche. At all. Argh!@$%#

So I'm still hungry even after the mushroom pastie. I found myself trawling through recipe sites with big, hungry eyes.

I found a brilliant recipe blog called 'Simply Recipes' with lots of pictures. Yum! I went straight to the vegetarian section (of course!) and coveted potato bakes and quiche. I'm learning how to make quiche. I'm obsessed. I think it will be a mushroom and capsicum quiche with cheese. Quiche. Argh!! I need help!

I'm going to put a picture of quiche here to further torment myself:














*stares longingly*

You think you've seen it all. Then this happens...




















Holy Toast Stamper

That's right. So you can make your own "holy toast". Can someone please explain to me how and why the Ebay obsession with toast thing got started?


















Nutri Grain E.T.

This happens to every second nutri-grain that I've ever eaten. But, come to think of it, it kind of does look like the little guy.



Oh, yeah, check this one out. For the extremely tolerant and / or masochistic:














Rotating disco ball alarm clock


I can just see it now. This is how it would go on its first day with me.


Me: Zzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzz

Disco Ball Alarm Clock: Ddldldldldldld wheeee doo doo (insert 70s disco tune here)
Flashing lights. Oh yeah, you are feeling funky....

Me: F#$%!!!! Mph? What the F#$%?!?!?!? Is there a fire? (sees clock)

**SMASH!!!**

Disco Ball Alarm Clock: Bwwwwww dzzzz mooooo (dies)

Me: Zzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzz

Technorati Tags: Ebay weird

Feel like crap. Don't know why. I presume Mercury is in retrograde but I can't be sure. Or perhaps it was the lunar eclipse. I don't know. I need cheering up and shopping just isn't going to do it today. I need silly.

I know I bagged out Dean Koontz recently but something he wrote in "Midnight" has ironically come back to haunt me. The character in the book has three things that keep him alive (ie. stopped him from ending it all)

1. Guinness
2. Good Mexican Food
3. Goldie Hawn

I've just noticed they all start with "G" but that's probably just a coincidence.

The character in the novel repeats these three things like a mantra when things get bleak. Well, things are bleak. I need my own list. Might be a bit longer though.


1. Good Italian Food. Quite partial to Mexican and Indian food also. And Chinese. And Greek...okay I'm running out of room here.

2. Father Ted - you just can't buy this sort of comedy. Forget "The Office", "Little Britain", all that stuff. This is the real deal. Sheesh! It's like listening to Nirvana after a day of listening to Good Charlotte and Sum 41.















3. Beavis & Butthead - Bunghole! bunghole! bunghole! Lake Titicaca! Sometimes I wonder if all of us don't have a little Beavis & Butthead inside. Or is that just me? Actually it probably is just me. I still make Year 10 jokes. And laugh.

















4. This little guy is called the "Slender Loris". Doesn't he look kind of annoyed? Maybe he has little man complex. Or perhaps he's plotting to take over the world, either way he's very cute!!




















5. Steptoe & Son - they could discover old DVDs of this show in 100 years and it will probably still be funny then! "You dirty old man!"





















6. Good books - ie. Patricia Cornwell, reading a bit of Thomas Harris recently, Stephen King, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Crichton is pretty good too, if I'm in a nerdy mood. What am I saying? I'm always in a nerdy mood!

7. A good film. Gordon Bennett! (sorry, still thinking about Steptoe & Son) Is it that hard to find a good film? I nearly committed videocide when I saw "The Lady in the Water" by M. Night Shammy Man. Good grief. What a load of horse bollocks. Don't get me wrong, I loved "The Sixth Sense", it was great. But seriously, who let him do this one?

All time great films - Die Hard (even though I saw Bruce Willis on an interview and he is a kind of gun-toting card-carrying Republican Global Warming Skeptic. I'll let that slide for now. Because it's a good film. Seriously, though, his political analysis is so bizarre. Kind of like GWB.)

Star Wars - Okay, I'm obviously going to need to clarify here - I mean Episode IV - A New Hope, Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back, Episode VI - Return of the Jedi. The new ones? I don't know. Is it a Y-Gen thing? I didn't get it. All set and no action. Blah! I didn't hate Episode III - Return of The Sith. That was ok. Still not as good as the ones made first...that are the later episodes. Good grief.

by the way, if you want to see something funny, check out the machine translation effort here:
Episode III - The Backstroke of the West

In a chase scene, one of the pilots says:
"They're all over me" which somehow translates to "He is in my behind"

You get the idea.

That brings me to another favourite of mine - direct Chinese to English translations. I don't know why it's so funny but it always brings tears to my eyes. My sister sent me this picture when she was in China. I know what they meant but really... there must be a more dignified way....
















Oh yeah, other good films. Hmmm. Bit thin on the ground at the moment. Good TV shows - "Curb Your Enthusiasm". If you don't think this show is funny then...well I don't know.
Larry David is a genius. There. I said it.




















I think....

I think I'm starting to feel just a tiny bit better.

technorati tags: movies books TV food