PHOTO: NASA

Thanks to my anonymous blogging friend/tipster for this one:

Talk about thinking big. Some joker astute entrepreneur has decided to sell a galaxy on Ebay. The seller is from Canada.

I wasn't aware that Galaxy M81 belonged to Canada or indeed any earth region.

I must say, though, the seller has started the bids pretty low at $1.00

What perplexes me is that delivery is $14.00 worldwide.

What about galaxy-wide? Or trans-galaxy delivery. Surely that would cost more than the collective wealth of Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey and Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah put together. No, I hadn't heard of him either but apparently he's the Sultan and ruler of Brunei (plus he's the Prime Minister, Defence Minister, Finance Minister and every other minister you can think of) and is worth $30 billion.

Anyway, what I'm saying is it would cost a lot of money to deliver a galaxy.

That's providing you know where you're delivering to.

You can't very well stash it in your garage with your old fishing equipment and skis. And you can't fit it in your "Ebay room" (people have these apparently) no matter how hard you push.

In fact, with a diameter of 70 thousand light years you'd probably have to get rid of our own galaxy to get delivery of this one. Which means you and the rest of humanity would be dead and it probably wouldn't matter how cheap you bought it.

But lets get back to the advantages.

The galaxy could be populated. Which according to the advertisement makes you the official galactic dictator.

I don't think that even the most hapless dictator would be proud of a rulership existing from such a huge distance that his great-grandchildren may be dead years before anyone works out how the hell you get there without running out of either oxygen and/or combustible fuels.

I just hope the title is inheritable.

The galaxy even comes with a certificate of ownership. So you are the 'certified' galactic dictator. That's handy. Most dictators are certifiable.

Let's face it. You're buying a certificate and the domain name "GalaxyM81.com". Which for $15 perhaps that isn't so bad. It makes me think though, if we can sell things we can't deliver, the possibilities are endless.

Or should I say infinite.


See the original listing here.

technorati tags: ebay weird listings galaxy m81

WTF?!?!? I just stumbled on to a site about buttock augmentation.

Each week I spend at least an hour and a half, maybe more, often a lot less, on walking with hand weights.

And I find out that some people are paying money, that's right, thousands of dollars, to get a bigger butt.

Just eat more Sara Lee desserts!!

Stock up on choccies!

Throw away your Pilates equipment and books on yoga.

Switch to full fat lattes.

But, for the love of God, do not withdraw thousands of dollars from your savings account so you can have a larger ass.

Perhaps I could start a new craze.

I'll sell books, DVDs, and I'll even bring seminars to a town near you.

It will be called.

"The big butt diet"

People will go crazy. Ever since J-Lo came on the scene people have wanted bigger booties. Beyonce is another bum icon. Alicia Keys is getting there.

For only $49.95 I'll give you a DVD on how to avoid exercise (especially in the gluteal area!) and how to make friends with every deli owner in your neighbourhood.

I'll give you a special "butt expander pack" consisting of a large rubber band and a pointless lever. But I'll show J-Lo on the machine in the infomercial which will prove beyond a doubt that this thing really works.

And lastly, I'll hold personal development seminars so you can talk to your "inner butt" and find out why it hasn't been allowed to grow.

Just call 1880-BUTT-EXPANDER for further details
Cheques will not be honoured.

technorati tags: buttock augmentation plastic surgery J-Lo

Yesterday, the 13th of February 2008, the apology finally came.
For the first time in a long time, I am proud to be an Australian.

View the apology to Indigenous Australians delivered by Kevin Rudd in Federal Parliament :




AUSTRALIA'S APOLOGY

Today we honour the Indigenous peoples of this land, the oldest continuing cultures in human history.

We reflect on their past mistreatment.

We reflect in particular on the mistreatment of those who were Stolen Generations – this blemished chapter in our nation’s history.

The time has now come for the nation to turn a new page in Australia’s history by righting the wrongs of the past and so moving forward with confidence to the future.

We apologise for the laws and policies of successive Parliaments and governments that have inflicted profound grief, suffering and loss on these our fellow Australians.

We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.

For the pain, suffering and hurt of these Stolen Generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.

To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.

And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.

We the Parliament of Australia respectfully request that this apology be received in the spirit in which it is offered as part of the healing of the nation.

For the future we take heart; resolving that this new page in the history of our great continent can now be written.

We today take this first step by acknowledging the past and laying claim to a future that embraces all Australians.

A future where this Parliament resolves that the injustices of the past must never, never happen again.

A future where we harness the determination of all Australians, Indigenous and non-Indigenous, to close the gap that lies between us in life expectancy, educational achievement and economic opportunity.

A future where we embrace the possibility of new solutions to enduring problems where old approaches have failed.

A future based on mutual respect, mutual resolve and mutual responsibility.

A future where all Australians, whatever their origins, are truly equal partners, with equal opportunities and with an equal stake in shaping the next chapter in the history of this great country, Australia.

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