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Monday, January 19, 2009

And now, from the people who brought you Paris Hilton and the mankini, please welcome... Bikijeans! Or Bikini Jeans Or "Avert thine eyes because you are about to be frightened severely" These jeans were actually invented by a Japanese company that obviously thought the tacky g-string showing-over-the-low-rise abomination wasn't enough. Let's be honest here. I don't care if you're Elle Macpherson, if you wear these jeans it's going to be hideous. And here's food for thought...try sitting down in them. This would of course, introduce a new aspect to the Bikijean - the added bonus of a butt crack! This just keeps getting better and better. These jeans should come with various warnings such as: "please refrain from sneezing" "avoid any seating areas with backless chairs" "do not eat while wearing these jeans" "avoid stores with metal racks and sharp objects or you might find yourself caught in a rather embarrassing bind" Old ladies beware - you are going to get a whole lot grumpier. Actually, I'm beginning to agree with them. I am a grumpy young woman and proud of it! Now, to continue my grump... This picture above shows a very skinny model in these jeans. It doesn't show her walking, because that would be quite difficult unless you have recently had a Brazilian or don't mind flashing the 'ole sidewinders. What you see in the photograph is a myth. When you go down to the local fish and chip shop or milk bar you are almost guaranteed to be confronted daily by a Kath & Kim style frightmare. This will not end prettily. ...and you know it won't stop there. I shudder to even ask the question "what's next?" Apparently these jeans are marketed for an exclusive audience - the "very thin". Hmmm, you know what? I think someone's got a thing about seeing girls' bits. It took a bit of digging but I think I'm on to it now... Seriously, the Bikijean. Yes or No?

Wednesday, January 07, 2009



My partner told me about how amazing an eggplant parmigiana can be when cooked properly. We decided to try out a 'counter meal' as they are known in Australia - basically a pub meal. The special was eggplant parmigiana and we arrived with anticipation of a mouth watering culinary experience.

WRONG!!

When the meal arrived, we suspected something was not quite right. For a start, my partner received about 4 chips while I received a larger pile. The nearby chicken parmigianas came complete with a mountain of chips and a parmigiana large enough to be a small car's hubcap. Our meal on the other hand, was quite different. The eggplant parmigiana itself was tiny, perhaps the size of an average person's palm. Oh well, I thought, quality not quantity. After tasting the eggplant, I was literally eating my words.

The knife provided was woefully ineffective, I found myself sawing away at this strange piece of boot leather and making little progress. Perhaps a local tree lopper would have come in handy at this point. The eggplant was dry, leathery and thin. It consisted of soggy layers of "batter", eggplant with the skin left on (which had the consistency of old boot) and another layer of soggy batter.

I could not bring myself to finish the meal, instead I dissected it out of curiosity and left it for the waiter to collect. When dissected, I noted it resembled Dalek innards (Dr Who fans will know what I'm talking about!).

When cooked properly, an eggplant parmigiana is thick, juicy, trimmed of skin and crumbed and fried. This science experiment was thin, skin heavy, microwaved back to life (or perhaps the undead), possibly frozen and grilled to within an inch of its life. It is my fond hope that pub meals will include vegetarian food more regularly in their menus and employ qualified chefs who have the expertise to er... cook.

If anyone out there knows a great eggplant parmigiana recipe, please enlighten me...



Sunday, December 28, 2008




The period after Christmas is often the best time to buy gifts. A great way to save money is to buy next year's Christmas presents now. Personally, I am not that organised. But, given the recent economic crisis, the best thing for the economy right now is to spend money.

Bath spa gift baskets are convenient as they are a ready-made solution for birthdays and holiday celebrations. At Best Bath Store you can find gift baskets starting at $39.95 - the baskets range from smaller combinations of soaps and bath products, to deluxe dead sea mud packages.

Featured above is the Petite Deluxe Facial gift basket, including minerals and botanicals to care for acne prone skin. The package includes pore refining facial toner, an acne soap bar and acne treatment gel.

The site also features products for men, including shaving creams and gels, and a very cute "I am Smitten With Him" package. This features a bay lime shaving kit with aloe shea butter, vitamin e and soothing aloe vera for a closer and smoother shaving experience.


All products come attractively packaged in cute baskets and include free delivery within US and Canada for orders over $25. Perfect for that hard to buy person and the person who has everything.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas to all...
and to all
a good night!

xoxox

LJP

Monday, December 22, 2008

According to an article in The Age, a Galaxy poll revealed some surprising results.

After questioning 1242 people aged 13 years and older in October, the survey found the following 'best' gifts:

Best presents for women - Chanel No5 perfume

I disagree. I think Poison is much better and anyway, I'd rather get a new titanium driver. Perhaps I am atypical.


Best presents for men - iPod Nano
Hmmm. I know one man in particular who would scratch his head and give me a quizzical look if I bought him an iPod Nano. The most likely response would be "how do you turn the bloody thing on?"


Best presents for girls - Barbie and Baby alive

AAARRRRGHHH!!! My mum would have had a pink fit (literally) if I had been given such gifts. Barbie dolls are sexist and promote eating disorders. Baby alive prepares one for motherhood I suppose. Fine if you're into that sort of thing...


Best presents for boys - Lego and Transformers

Now you're talking. I got quite a few lego sets as a kid and I loved them. I think they are good for the imagination and also serve the purpose of keeping kids away from the XBox for a while. Transformers? Yeah, I used to like them...before the crap movie came out.



Now for the 'worst' list:

Worst presents for women - Kitchen appliances

I understand that the giving of a kitchen appliance to a woman can often be misinterpreted (or correctly interpreted) as "you woman, go cook!!" ...or words to that effect.
On the other hand if it's a rice cooker...well, they can come in handy.

Worst presents for men - the article didn't specify so I'll have to make up my own. From what I have heard, anything tie-dyed, clothing bought by grandma/aunties eg. green socks, more socks, colourful t-shirts that say something like "Brown Ferret Sports Club" with pictures of surfboards and volleyballs on it. Sweeping period romance novels are probably out, unless the male in question is a fan, or is named Gill Sanderson (romance author!). And perhaps the worst? Pongy aftershave that only goes with a backwards cap, a 6 cylinder car and an ear-splitting doof doof stereo.


Worst presents for teenage girls - Clothes bought by parents

Ok, I hear ya. Yep, yep. That polka dot cable knit jumper will sink to the bottom of the closet, only to be wheeled out on special occasions. Unless that is, it meets an unfortunate 'accident' along the way...


Worst present for teenage boys - Books

Whaat? What about Harry Potter? Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
Are we entering a new age of illiteracy? Whatever happened to The Famous 5? Boys Own? Sherlock Holmes? Nooo, it's all gadgets and gizmos now. Teenage boys probably learn how to read on Facebook.


I finished my Christmas shopping two days ago. Let's hope we all escape the 'worst' list!




You might also be interested in this offer, it seems that the guys at MyShoppingJobs.com are now paying people to go shopping and giving away a bunch of free stuff as well. The Free E-Guide "Get Your Purchases Free" is now available for download.