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Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It's that time of the Christmas shopping period where some people are relaxed, all presents wrapped and ready to go, slippers on, eggnog in hand.

Other people may be in the midst of mind-bending panic trying to get everything purchased before December 25th. The crowds, the pressure, the "what the heck am I doing in this department - everything's starting to look the same" experience. During my shopping expeditions to the Melbourne CBD, I found myself armed with a list, a credit card, some dollars and the beginnings of a whopper headache. After the third shop my eyes began to glaze over and my mind began to fantasise about settling down with a nice cold beer and potato wedges. I don't know what it is about shopping that makes me so hungry. Maybe it's because I'm in survival mode and my body sends out signals to eat to preserve the continuation of the human race. Shopping will do that to you.

I should have taken my own advice and done most of my shopping online. For some reason my online shopping mainly involved buying myself some Christmas presents - perhaps to reward my subconscious for putting up with 2 and a half hours of the most annoying species of shopping humans:

1. Slow Walkers - The thing about Christmas shopping is that MOST people are in a hurry. Probably because there are only 72 hours to Christmas and some of us haven't even bought wrapping paper. Slow walkers are content to amble aimlessly, admiring the crowds, staring at concrete and mesmerised by traffic lights. Slow walkers are the natural enemy of efficient shoppers and tend to approach backwards using stealth and cunning.

2. Bag Whackers - These shoppers come in two forms - those that whack you with a bag and those that whack the bags you are carrying. I try to keep my bags out of everybody's way, daintily dodging and weaving so as not to gonk anyone in the shins. Bag whackers on the other hand are either training for the marathon, arms waving and thumping every bag in sight, or they are carrying half the shareholder's investment at Myer and try to squeeze past thirty people trying to get in the back carriage at Flinders Street.

3. Directional Changers - One of the most dangerous to those carrying anything made from glass or crystal are the directional changers. Like poisonous snakes they wind from side to side, occasionally walking backwards or diagonally without first checking to see if anyone is in their path. If you do see one of these shoppers, stay well clear and hide any breakables.

4. Inexplicable Stoppers - Possibly the worst of the lot. Imagine you are walking behind someone who appears to be walking with purpose. And suddenly inexplicable stopper er... stops. They don't do anything or go anywhere - for example, into a shop, to a stall to buy a drink, to give money to a street artist. No, they just stop. In front of nothing. With blank expressions on their faces. It makes me think of that new Bruce Willis film where robots dressed as people suddenly all stop. Perhaps inexplicable stoppers are actually robots, infiltrating our Christmas shopping habits and stopping to report back to base. Or maybe the heat just makes their joints rusty.

For some of us, the only things left on the list are stocking fillers. Little knick-knacks and last minute curios that add to the Christmas spirit and make it look like there are more presents under the tree. These examples may give you ideas as to what to put in your own stockings this Christmas.

Apple iPod Touch Accessories

Canon Deluxe Grey Leather Case

Sandisk 4GB Memory Card

Crayola Glow Station

Monday, December 14, 2009

It's difficult to know the exact limit to set on purchases for friends and family. $30? $50? Let's assume for argument's sake that the maximum you have to spend on each person is $60.

I have an admission to make - I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet. And I run a shopping blog.

Here are some last minute gift ideas under $60:

Red Dwarf Series I and II
In my humble opinion, the earlier episodes of Red Dwarf are the best. Rimmer, Lister, The Cat and 3 million light years away from Earth. Series III is also a classic (refer to earlier post Mr Flibble Is Very Cross). It's perfect holiday viewing - the touching story of a man who wakes up slumped on a table in McDonald's on Mimas (a moon of Saturn), wearing a lady's pink crimplene hat and a pair of yellow fishing waders, with no money and a passport in the name of 'Emily Berkenstein' and an annoying rash. All this for celebrating his 25th birthday with a few mates and a Monopoly pub crawl. This of course happens in the book, and the series begins shortly after these fateful events. But you get the idea.

Nike One Golf Balls 12pk
I am fascinated by how they make these things. I watched an advertisement showing these weird rubber spinning and getting covered in layers, tested by robots, its all very high tech. Personally I just hit them. Preferably on greens and fairways. I once lost around 4 brand new balls in the creek at the 8th at Elsternwick Golf Course. But that's another story...

Bungee, Surfing, Jet Boating

If you know someone who would rather bungee jump than have plum pudding and eggnog, you can choose from surfing lessons, jet boating and other such exciting things.

Fair Trade Fashion

If you want to give a gift that won't add clutter, try this one. Millions of workers in developing countries are employed in the fashion industry. This refers to the people who actually sew and manufacture the clothes we wear every day. This gift helps to improve working conditions for fashion industry workers, making it a better Christmas for everyone.

QuickFlix DVD Rental Gift Voucher

This is a gift that can be enjoyed for months to come. Includes DVD hire and home delivery for those of us too busy to go to the video store. The service provides free return by post and no late fees.

Estee Lauder Travel Set

Christmas time is also holiday time, so this travel set is perfect for a brief or lengthy getaway.
Pack includes Estee Lauder moisturiser, foot smoothing lotion, lipstick, mascara, eyeshadow pack and travel bags. I feel relaxed already.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Are you sick of giving and receiving unwanted gifts each Christmas? *Yawn* another icky t-shirt, oh great, more socks and a jumper... wheee...

If you want to do something different this Christmas, consider giving something that will not only make a difference, but will make you smile as well.

I am very passionate about giving OxfamUnwrapped gifts and have been doing so for the last 5 years. Just knowing that you are funding an entire year of schooling for one child, contributing to small business microcredit loans and training for women and buying mosquito nets, clean water, soap and farming training for people who are truly in need.

You can give these gifts and get a free card to send to your recipient to let them know what their gift has bought for communities in need of support.

Some of the great gifts you can give to family and friends include:

Seeds $10

High quality vegetable seeds to increase crop yield for farmers.

Clean Water Jar $15

Hygienic water storage to protect against bugs and other impurities.

Start a Small Business $14

Affordable microcredit loans for starting up a small business to gain self-sufficiency and improve quality of life for families.

These gifts are so easy to give, and your gift gives twice. You can give a card to your loved one and a life-changing boost to a family who will really appreciate the gift. All gifts are tax deductible.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

The perfect gift for your three wood.

"The Yoda Head Cover"
To tell you the truth, I had no idea whether or not such a thing was available. I was just watching "The Golf Show" the other night and for some reason I suddenly exclaimed "I want a Yoda head cover!", without a clue as to whether such a thing existed.

And as it just so happens, yes they do.

What can I say?

Yoda = Golf

The perfect balance between ancient religions and blind luck.

Every time you take that head cover off, instead of thinking "yikes" or "help" or "sh!t", you can instead think:

"My ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is"


"Fear is the path to the dark side"

Or when you're deciding that doing an insane trick shot over the water is actually a good idea, you will magically hear:

"Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things."

and of course, when you are lining up to putt, a small voice will come from the vicinity of your bag:

"May the force be with you"

Will it improve my game?


Will it put a smile on my face every time I go for a tee shot and I hear a little voice say:

"Try not. Do or do not there is no try"


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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Christmas is looming again and it's time to shop, whether we like it or not. Personally I prefer to avoid the Christmas crush in the bigger stores and shop online, from the comfort of my own computer. But that's just my little quirk.

Here are some ideas for gifts under $15:

1. Blue Dolphin Ocarina

If you have played Legend of Zelda you may already know what an ocarina is. If not, its a terracotta wind instrument with holes, something akin to a recorder or flute.

2. Japanese Design Mouse Mats
If you have the same boring plain mousepad as everyone else, be different!! Gold leaf mousepad featuring Japanese artwork.

3. Reusable Leather Journal/Note pad Holder
This is my personal pick for the cutest gift ever - perfect for the person who carries a notebook everywhere they go.

4. 15 Wines Under $15
Technically this isn't just one present. But who cares. Wine makes a good present. (Checks vintage) Then again, maybe not (*pops cork*)

5. Penguin Holiday Pendant
This would make a great present for a daughter / granddaughter / niece - very cute, very Christmassy. The pendant is the same size as a standard scrabble tile.

Happy Shopping!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Doggie Bag

Yuk yuk. I Love it. *snicker*

You could... take it home with you!! (I am sincerely sorry about that, I couldn't resist!)

Rocket Alarm Clock

This thing actually goes through a countdown and launches the rocket across the room. There’s something so amazingly cool about that...

Yes, it does keep the alarm sounding until you fossick about on your hands and knees trying to replace the rocket to its holder. That almost qualifies it for the sadistic gift file. But it does have a snooze button and it simulates launch off. What more do you want?

And of course...

Monty Python Killer Rabbit Stapler

Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

It's the most foul, bad tempered rodent you ever set eyes on. Raaa!!! A tad unnerving for everyday stapling - kind of like having a Hannibal Lecter dinner set.

I can just see numerous idiots holding this up to their neck going "Aaargh!! Get the holy hand grenade of Antioch!!"


"Oh sh!t."

"Uh... anyone got a band-aid?"

Monday, June 15, 2009

Sadistic Gift File #1 - Gong Alarm Clock

Gong Alarm Clock

Yeah. Like waking up in the morning isn't traumatic enough.

It really is that special present for the person you really hate. Instead of getting up the courage to tell them outright, you prefer to torture them on a daily basis, so the first thing they will think of in the morning is you. And creative ways of disposing of a clock... or a body...

"Be awakened with great fanfare, as is fitting for one of your stature and position. A tiny servant to your morning experience lets loose at a time of your choosing; loud "gong" is set by an easy-to- use digital clock"

In fact my "stature" and "position" will be as such:


Fist smash.


Position: head buried in pillow hopefully dreaming about Kung Fu.

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Thursday, April 09, 2009

Got Jacked Sound Card Key Ring

From an 'ancient' 12-year old laptop. One day there will be a great archeological dig and people from the future will marvel at Commodore 64s and Macintosh SE/30 parts wondering "how did people survive in those days?"

Steampunk 8GB Jump Drive with Copper and encased Gears

This is pretty darn stylish. I think I want one...
Steampunk definition:
"Steampunk is a sub-genre of fantasy and speculative fiction that came into prominence in the 1980s and early 1990s. The term denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date."
Source: Wikipedia

Shift Computer Key Necklace

Nothing says "I Love You" more than a computer keyboard necklace. Except maybe a large amount of WoW gold...

Tetris Pendant

So completely geek filled. Even more geeky is finding a person with the correct matching tetris pendant. It's like "Perfect Match" only more ...nerdy.

Come to the Dark Side T-Shirt

Cookies eh?...

Strong am I with the force

...but not that strong.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

On a budget? Of course, everybody is hoarding their money like greedy squirrels collecting nuts for the winter.

But that doesn't mean we can't spend a little? Splurge just once in a while? Decorate the house a bit? Give a gift without breaking a sweat?

How about gifts under $10. That's $10 AUD, not USD, which means its even cheaper due to the exchange rate. Let's celebrate these gorgeous gifts and leave the recession blues behind!!

Magnetic Memo Board Calendar - $9.95*

I love this. It's so simple, yet so practical. Large enough to display your favourite photos and important notes to remember...

Like "Exercise Today - No excuses!"

Soft Family Training Set - $9.95*

I don't quite know why this is called a "Soft Family Training Set". Perhaps it's for soft families...

I would definitely be using the hand weights for my 1-2km walks. I do like the idea of a skipping rope for extra cardio...

Saturday Night Live DVD Box Set $9.95*

If I watch another news bulletin about recession/depression/house prices/banks etc I will throw the damn telly out the window.

I don't know about you but I need more than ever to laugh right now...

Although the way things are going it might be a maniacal cackle rather than a demure giggle...

Buddha Figurine Outdoor Indoor - $7.95*

What do you do when the stock market has gone southwards, the news reports disaster after disaster, and people are starting to fray at the edges? You could go postal but...

Perhaps what we really need is to turn off our fraught brains and reflect...

Turn off the TV, cancel your newspaper subscription, stop watching the stock market on the internet and sit quietly in the garden. How would Buddha approach the current economic crisis? This can be the contemplation for the day...

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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Q: What to get for the geek who has everything?

A: Giant earbud speakers!!

This concept is very Escher. Or Dali. Or both. Whatever the origin, they would look great on your desk and could be useful during late night drinking sessions to confuse people ie. "go get my headphones". Fun and hilarity will ensue. All we need now is a giant iPod.

What's that, you say? There is such a thing?

The giant Google Earth iPod. Now, where do we plug them in?

But this was just an April Fool's joke created by Apple - there was no bet between Steve Jobs and Kerry Packer ... it's actually a Western Australian tailings storage facility. Perhaps iPod's are actually made out of tailings...

Maybe I can make a giant Steve Jobs that can be seen from space... but then I'd have to make a giant Bill Gates as well. But I'd have to use Microsoft Virtual Earth... In fact, we could take up the entire earth with advertising space... Dang this, I'm off to design my own system: LJP Earth. Advertising starts at Google dollars...