. . .

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

It started happening last week. A mysterious phenomenon in which I proceeded to go "beep" every time I passed through a security barrier. Supermarkets, Chemists, you name it, I went "beep".

I searched my mind for the cause of this sudden anomaly.

Well, I say searched...I actually spent a lot of time saying to suspicious checkout staff:

"It's okay! I went beep when I went in!"

Strangely, this has been quite sufficient as an explanation. Had I been an actual shoplifter this would have been quite a dastardly plan...

"I went beep when I went in! It's okay!" (with a bag stuffed full of...well...I'm not really sure what. Why would someone want to rob a supermarket? Unless you're really into groceries - perhaps extremely hungry?!?)

Another thing recently occurred to me - the security barriers don't seem to pick up on actual groceries. I know this beacuse I bought an item at one supermarket, then later in the day realised I needed something from another supermarket from the same chain (eg. Coles). I brought in that very bag with my item inside (with the receipt in the bag, of course!) - and nothing. The machine didn't go beep.

These machines are however brilliant at detecting people who have bought a C5 notebook and have forgotten to remove the packaging.

Yep, that's right - mystery solved. I forgot to take the plastic off my little notebook and it happened to contain something very similar to this:

I remember I went for an entire year going "beep" without realising that the nivea moisturiser in my bag had one of these silver microchip whatchamadoodles stuck to it.

It got me in quite a bit of bother when I tried to fly overseas. Luckily one of the security staff took pity on me. It was quite obvious that I was not armed and was quite clueless as to why I went "beep". I actually started to think that I may have swallowed something metal. Had I been a conspiracy theorist I would have thought aliens had given me an implant... or replaced my brain with liquid metal like that guy in Terminator 2...

Anyway, go figure. These supermarkets might want to recalibrate their machines.

technorati tags:

Monday, October 29, 2007


Watch out for this one. I clicked on it. It got me. Now I have probably given over my soul to the Evil God of Spam.

technorati tags:

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I think I'm getting back on track with my shopping exploits. After a number of weeks of nail-biting (being an Ebay seller is not for the faint of heart), the buyer responded that the item finally arrived. Phew! You know, I don't think I'll try that again for a while. Sometimes I think it's a good idea and I get all optimistic about selling stuff on Ebay, and then the reality hits when I have to buy stamps, postpacks, send stuff with the unpredictable Australia Post and... pray.

So I'm in the clear. Yippee!! Now I can get back to my "buy one item of clothing per week" plan. It's a great plan and it's been working really well so far. It also makes me more likely to eject clothing I have not worn for over 5 years. I think that's probably a sign.

You know, the dress you wore to that wedding and now don't have a use for? (is that bad English? I think SMS texting is messing with my syntax).

And the pair of shoes you wore to that job you hated (or is that just me? Sometimes I get the impression that everyone else is blissfully happy and 'okay' with stuff. They are best of friends with their ex-boyfriends and girlfriends. They still talk to their old bosses that used to treat them like sh!t. They love everyone they went to High School with. I've got one thing to say to them. Bollocks.) But I digress. Again. Where was I?

Oh yes, getting rid of old clothes and making room for the new.

I found this pair of corduroy pants for 0.99c! Hee hee! And the postage was $5.20 so the total of $6.19 (if my maths serves me correctly)...

They seriously arrived the day after I paid for them. So fast! I love it when that happens. It's like getting presents every week.

Can't wait to wash them and try them on... (always a good idea to wash these things - I tried on a top straight from the postpack and spent the rest of the afternoon sneezing with dust up my nose...)

technorati tags:

Monday, October 22, 2007

If you don't believe me, check this out...

You can't delete your account - they keep your personal information. You are allowed to 'deactivate' your account but it won't be deleted - people can still send you friend requests and add you and whatever else the sh!t people do on Facebook, or the Matrix if you like - you are continually plugged in whether you like it or not.

So what is my experience of facebook?

I got lot of friend requests - wow! I must be so popular!

Except the friend requests were from people who I avoided, hated or didn't even talk to in High School.

Creepy guys who used to follow me around, or those bitchy girls who backstabbed me and hated my guts....made my life hell...

...want to be my FRIEND on facebook?


I think Facebook obscures the reality that if you really liked these people you would be calling them and catching up. You would probably have their number already.

Oh, you think it helps people "get together" as the slogan says?

No, it helps F*CKING STALKERS find out your personal details.


And legally, if you want to delete your account so you don't get stalked by that guy who would never leave you alone in High School, or Uni or whatever, YOU SHOULD HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO.

Oh, and not to mention people you just don't ever want to see again - like ex-boyfriends. Yep, they pop up WITH PHOTOS. Aarrgh!! The horror. That's right, if you happen to accept a friend request from a stalker friend from High School and they happen to belong to a group containing a bunch of weirdos including that pesky ex-boyfriend, then you pop up on his radar. Which is something that most of us don't want. Ever.

Here's a nice trick I learned from the comments on this blog - Create a new account with a new email address. Use another name but not one that is too 'out there'. Once you have activated your new account, change your email to the old email you used on Facebook in your original account. It will ask you to confirm you are going to delete all the info associated with this email address.

Say yes.

Then deactivate that account and opt out of emails. I hope this worked for me - I just tried it today. If this doesn't work you can try emailing them and request that they delete your account. They may give you the runaround but persist and it should work.

Unplug from the Matrix.

Oh, and if anyone is reading this, it's a warning. Don't sign up. And if you want a good scare, read their privacy policy.

Facebook are evil and deserve to be shut down.

technorati tags:

Monday, October 15, 2007

I wish I was joking, I really do.

The tofu arrived, it was named "deep fried five spicy tofu".

It looked nice enough, it tasted pretty good, but you know what? When I got to the last piece of tofu, SOMETHING was hanging from its edge.

I examined the something.

It was a hair.





The images that ran through my mind. That are still running through my mind. There was of course only one way for it to get there.

Oh God, the humanity.

When I told the lady at the cash register, she rolled her eyes as if to say "not again" and thanked me profusely.

Hang on....you mean to say this isn't the first time?

I will never eat there again.

I should have asked for a refund.

And a mint.

technorati tags:
Unless you are living under a rock or in a cave, you know the Australian 2007 Federal Election has been called for Saturday 24th November.

Here is the all-important date (remember, if you don't enrol to vote by 8pm Wednesday 17th October you won't be able to vote in this November election.

*** Deadline for new enrolments 8pm Wednesday 17th October ***

"Compulsory voting

Compulsory voting means that every Australian citizen (18 years or older) is required by law to enrol and vote. If a person does not vote and is unable to provide a "valid and sufficient" reason, a penalty is imposed. Compulsory voting is a distinctive feature of the Australian political culture..."*

Here's an easy way to check online to see whether you are currently enrolled to vote: Check Enrolment Details

If you can't find your details, you can call 13 23 26 to find out if you need to enrol. Please note: you only have 2 days!!!

Make sure you check your details and make your vote count!


*source: http://www.aec.gov.au/Voting/index.htm

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I have also made another stunning realisation this week - saving money is completely boring. But what is more annoying is having a credit card debt and no savings whatsoever.

The other thing I have noticed is that it is no longer fashionable to save money in a bank. It seems it is more important to look as if you have money rather than actually having it. Which is stupid. Going into debt to look like you are wealthy...er...DUH!!

So what is fashionable? Buying a $500 pair of shoes that you will wear once? Shrewd investment, that one.

I tried to find out the source of the problem. Many people say "TV" or "Magazines" which can be a factor, definitely. But I often laugh at these ads and say "wow, check this new kind of watch out...if you buy it you get a free yacht and bodyguards."

The hardest form of advertising is this kind...

Person 1: "Hey guys, howzit going?"

Person 2: "Hey, I got one of those new iPhone/camera/movie player yesterday."

Person 3: "Me too! I got it for $400."

Person 2: "Hah, I got it for $370."

Person 1 (thinking): "Is my life complete without one of these? Everyone else seems to need one. I'm going to look like I'm not good enough if I don't have one. Sh!t, I don't have $400...or $300 for that matter. I do have a credit card though...."
(insert diabolical laughter here)

The next day Person 1 has a new iPhone/camera/movie player thingy. And a $400 credit card debt. And still no money in the bank. They take it home and unwrap it, waiting for the satisfaction and sense of achievement to sink in.

Person 1: "Err... what do I do with it?

*Thinks hard*

How about that! I don't think I wanted the dang thing anyway.

But it's the latest upgrade...and so and so has one and now I have one and now I can....



Technorati Tags:

Monday, October 08, 2007

I have made an amazing realisation.

To buy clothes, you have to fit into clothes.

To fit into clothes, you have to do stuff. Like exercise.

After this incredible epiphany occurred, I made a decision. I am going to walk every day. No matter what. This weather is driving me nuts - no daylight savings, there are heavy rains, stupid winds, blustery, wind chilling, bone chilling and hand freezing days.


Well, I''ve had enough. I'm going walking. Nobody is going to stop me.

Mantra to self:

"The more you exercise, the greater the number of clothes look good on you. The more you exercise, the greater the number of clothes in your wardrobe suddenly become options. The more you exercise, the less grumpy you are about not being able to wear that horizontally striped top."

Wish me luck :-)

Technorati Tags:

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

It's amazing what you can find on Ebay:

Bush Sticky Notes

Innovative idea. Usually when I want to say something stupid I just write it in a blog post...

Although it does beg the question, what would you write on them?

It just sprang to mind since we recently had the "OPEC" summit here in "Austria".

Technorati Tags:

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

It seriously took me 2 hours to get through my emails this morning. Over 100. That doesn't even include my other email account with Hotmail. Argh!! I got so many of those "FROM THE DESK OF..." or "READ VERY CAREFULL." Drives me mad. Why oh why would anyone fall for that sort of thing anymore? Although there is always the one person who ends up on A Current Affair saying "I thought they were legitimate...I just can't believe they did that to me!!" It is horrible. Those people should be put in jail. Also, people shouldn't be allowed to be that naive. There should be some kind of worldwide education campaign to stop people being foolish with their money and personal details. I don't quite know how it would work, perhaps it should be included in school curriculum. "Internet Privacy and Scam Issues 101". Perhaps people like me have to do it as a public service announcement.

Anyway, here's the latest one to look out for. It is very sneaky. I knew it was a fake immediately because it was sent to an email address that has nothing to do with my PayPal stuff. But...for some people they will send it to the address that IS registered with PayPal and you really don't want to absent-mindedly click this one...

The really sneaky bit is this part:
If you haven't authorized this charge ,click the link below to dispute transaction
and get full refund"
That is so low. They make you think you have been charged for a transaction you didn't make (which of course, you didn't!) then they give you a chance to "dispute" the transaction. Bad bad people I hope they go to hell and are forced to spend lots of time with a bunch of fascist dictators that want a new person to "play" with.

By the way, if you get one with "CONTACT UPS FOR YOUR PARCEL", note the part that mentions the "...cash payment to avoid losting this funds..."

I think I'll take my chances on losting this funds.

Technorati Tags: