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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I seem to be a target for spam lately.  Yesterday I got a text message from a ridiculously long phone number reading:
)"EID" )
/ "Mub /
(arik" (
I think that @ and = thing is supposed to be a scroll.

It reads:

"May Allah bless U and your family!"

Well that's nice. Couple of points though,

1. I'm not a Muslim, or in fact religious in any way shape or form
2. I'm not rabid enough to text back "die godless A-rab" either

So whatever they were hoping for - ie. "Thank you brother, may Allah bless you as well" or "I will find out where you live and git you just like Osama", they ain't gonna get it from me.

Another couple of points. They can't spell Eid Mubarak properly but they did send it at the right time, as Ramadan has just ended. A little bit of research goes a long way.  I'm guessing it's just a run of the mill spam thing, but I can see some people receiving it happily, and sending back "Eid Mubarak blessings to you too.  Just one thing, who are you and how did you get my number?" or freaking out completely and throwing the phone over the ranch fence and running in the general direction of Alaska.

My next spam adventure happened this morning when I received a totally official looking (*insert sarcasm here*) email from Mr Ambrose Wekkinbeck. Well, with a name like that I can't help but be reassured of its authenticity. It just sounds like the kind of name you can trust. Not made up at all.

Here is an excerpt of this earnest letter written by good natured people who just want to get my "missing funds" to me so they can sleep at night, knowing they have done the world a great service.

"Due to this lost of Funds of your's which was suppose to be given to you but failed to."

When I studied grammar at primary school, high school and university, not once did I dare consider indulging in any number of these cardinal sins. This person deserves to be tied up in a small room with an audio recording of "Introduction to The Grammar of English" for desecrating a poor defenseless sentence.

Apparently, the object of the exercise is to fleece people out of anything between $180 and $396 to cover "shipping fees" for an ATM card. That's one heavy ATM card. If anyone is stupid enough to pay an exorbitant shipping fee to an illiterate stranger with a made up name, they really can't blame anyone else when their accounts get drained. I guess you could call it a stupidity test.

That said, I feel quite sure there is a special circle of hell reserved for spammers and identity thieves. And I'm not even religious.

They end the last part of the email with "Thanks and God bless you and your family."

Spooky eh?

So, in the interests of reciprocating this earnest outreach of human goodness, here is my response (posted here only, not emailed!):

Deer Mistir Ambrowse Wekkinbecc,

!Git Stuff'd.

yorz sincerelly,

Friday, August 26, 2011

Poppy Lou

I watched a cute baby and his grandad strolling along the street today.  It was such a cute scene, the baby was cute, the grandpa was doting...  but something caught my eye.

The stroller's name was "Quinny".  I immediately recognised it from "Elizabeth" (or was it "Elizabeth - The Golden Age" - I can't remember).  Anyway, the term is a euphemism for the female genitalia.  Dating back to Elizabethan times, hence the word appearing in the film "Elizabeth".

I tried unsuccessfully to stop laughing out loud.  Then I stopped trying and just went with it.  Apparently the word is sooo Elizabethan era that it's a cute, sweet and altogether wholesome word again.

I hate to think what strollers will be called in 3010.

Monday, August 15, 2011

There are certain eras in fashion that just got things right.  Take swimsuits for example, some fads went a bit haywire with the high cut idea, and soon women were paddling in the ocean using baby steps and holding themselves together with blu tack and tarzans grip.  You feel the need to sneeze but hold it in because you know the consequences.  All you need is one large wave to come along and hello embarrassing dive for lost part of missing bikini top...

The trend continued unrestrained, resulting in the much maligned (and equally revered) "Borat Mankini".

But we can take heart in the sensible nature of some designers, coming up with glamourous pin up bathing suits for sensible women:

Vintage pinup high waisted shorts in White Cherry from Pinup Couture
This fancy number comes with matching white cherry sarong.
For some reason the shorts and top are sold separately but I wouldn't advise wearing only one or the other, except on certain beaches!!

Vintage Swimsuit - The Marilyn by Pinup Couture
The classic one piece inspired by Marilyn Monroe.  Designed for swimming and/or posing in the desert.

Bettie One Piece Swimsuit
Slightly Gidget inspired, practical for all uses, including adorning light planes (preferably before takeoff!!)

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

In the 1980s the parent group PMRC (Parents Music Resource Centre) formed from the "Wives of Washington", tried to ban songs containing 'obscene' lyrics, targeting Twisted Sister along with 15 other bands they dubbed "The Filthy Fifteen".  These parent groups (one of which included Tipper Gore) attempted to use the courts to censor rock music into oblivion.  Had they won the case, the PMRC would have chosen which music is appropriate and not appropriate based on their own particular values.  As a result of these hearings, the "parental advisory" stickers were born.

Note:  Dee Snyder says one swear word in this documentary.  I'm sure you've all heard it before but if you don't want to hear it, don't watch it!

The Glee Project doing "We're Not Going to Take It" by Twisted Sister.
This is not particularly appropriate as music for an "Idol" style reality TV show considering the history and the subject matter of the song.

This song was written to take a stand against the establishment, against narrow minded people and against unfair censorship.  It's a song about Rock N' Roll, freedom of speech and the right to choose your own destiny. 

Glee on the other hand is paint-by-numbers, establishment-endorsed karaoke, not Rock N' Roll.
And no, pretending to break a plastic guitar doesn't count. 

The fundamental problem with this picture is that PMRC would probably have endorsed Glee and its inoffensive, sanitised "Musical Theatre" show.

People on you tube have said that this Glee Project clip "Rocks".  They wouldn't know Rock music if they tripped over it.   

Here is the link to the actual song, performed as nature intended:
We're Not Going To Take It - Twisted Sister