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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Disclaimer: although pretty tame, if you are under 18 or easily offended, this is not for you.

I was watching a comedian on TV talking about edible underwear and the concept has floated in my mind for days.

The first question I would ask is "why"?

The second thing that really started to bother me was the "material" from which they are made.  This comedian mentioned the stuff that edible underpants are made from and it's been giving me nightmares.

So it's a sticky, sugary, fruity sheet type thing.  Designed for.. well actually, I don't really want to think about what they are for.  Use your imagination.  Or don't.  Preferably don't.

The thing that bothers me the most is that you are supposed to wear these things as underwear.  I don't want to go into too much detail but there are two problems with this.

1.  It's warm down there.

2.  Hair

Now if you get someone who is over enthusiastic and tries to take these things off quickly...

Well, only a qualified beautician should be allowed to do that.  Under strict, clinical conditions using the proper utensils.

It baffles me how shoving a couple of fruit rollups down your dacks is somehow deemed to be alluring to the opposite sex.

Each to his/her own I suppose.

In any case, if you do ever buy/use/eat?!!?! these things, exercise extreme caution, lest you experience an instant Brazilian.

Friday, October 15, 2010

If you have just bought a new laptop, or a netbook you don't necessarily want to order Microsoft Office, Windows 7 and various other security software packages all over again.

So what is the alternative?

I found this excellent site called Get the Free Version, which, strangely enough, shows you the free version or equivalent of popular software titles.

Instead of Microsoft Office, try Open Office.  It's free.  And open source.  And did I mention it's free?

Instead of Windows, try Ubuntu.  Again, free.

And if you aren't keen on forking out for another Photoshop, try Gimp.  Strange name, but it's FREEEE!

For more open source windows programs, you could try Opensourcewindows or Osswin.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My latest purchase consists of a great new LED photon light device, used to correct uneven skin tone and various other skin concerns.
The device itself is great, works perfectly, I am very happy indeed.

LED Photon Light Device

The part I found most amusing about the whole transaction was the instruction leaflet.  Please note, I am not joking and this leaflet really contains these phrases.

"Colourful Photon Skin Tenderizer"

I'm somehow nervous already...

Main benefits
  • Light waves irradiate skin cells
What the hey?...
  • Promotes rebuilding of collagen fibers and other flexible fibers
Like cotton?  Or spandex perhaps?  I've got some old bike shorts need repairing...

And finally,

Please stop the operation in case any stimulated phenomenon

Stimulated phenomenon?  What, like my compass and watch stopping on a deserted road?

Trust no one!!!