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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

During my nocturnal weekend adventures I fell victim to the late night monster. No, I'm not talking about Freddy Krueger, I'm talking about...


The infomercial monster is a strange entity. It only comes out at night. It gets you when you're in or around the theta state, when your brain waves are susceptible to suggestion. Or brainwashing. You might wake up one morning and find out you're a Scientologist. Or worse...

Tough Guys and Grills

What is it about big tough guys advertising grill-type products? Why did George Foreman go from pummeling opponents to grilling meat? Perhaps it stems back to Rocky Balboa pummeling all those carcasses in the meat locker. Maybe all tough guys have an "I wanna grill me some meat" gene that kicks in around the time the career starts waning and the bills start piling up. Perhaps this goes some way to explaining why Hulk Hogan went down this very same road as George... But what I can't explain is why on earth Mr T, who played the legendary B.A. Baracus in the A-Team would decide to advertise the strange alien incubator they call "Flavor Wave"...

I hope this easy step-by-step guide helps you in understanding the process:

Step 1 - Put dead chook in incubator

Step 2 - Gather the family and watch the magic as your brains are irradiated and your intelligence circuits disintegrate. Or perhaps that already happened while you were watching the infomercial...

Step 3 - Marvel in awe as the innocuous looking chicken turns from normal raw chook to creepy alien life form that will take over your house while you sleep and beam you all up to the mothership where minions of other irradiated chickens will put you in a large human-sized incubator and watch your vital reactions to Mr T commericals...

My skin literally crawled when I saw this space-age torture chamber in action. The meat goes all gooey, then melts, then cooks freakily from the inside out while dripping, shifting, shrinking and... moving.

I don't know about you but I think I just got hungry...

It's even creepier in super time-lapse motion. You can see the turkey moving and shifting to assume its new earthling-irradicating form.

Forget "Species", this is the real deal.

According to the infomercial, the oven uses halogen light, apparently to "add that amazing crispyness". I recently bought a halogen heater. Powered with halogen light. Does that mean every time I warm my tootsies, I am crisping up and magically cooking from the inside out? Aaargh!! Why didn't somebody tell me!?!?

There were also signs that the audience had been compromised, perhaps already assimilated by the Scientologist mind-meld chicken mothership people.

The activity of watching two adults talk, wear aprons and cook dinner made them so fervent and excited you could have mistaken them for the audience in that "you get a car" Oprah episode.

Had I been present watching the creepy chickens and turkeys melting and liquefying, I would have run out of the TV station lot screaming "Fly you fools!! The pod people are coming!! The prophecy is upon us!!" while blasting Iron Maiden's 'Run to the Hills' out of my ipod speakers.

And you want to know the weirdest thing? At one point in the proceedings I even considered buying it...

...and I'm a vegetarian.

It just goes to show just how powerful the power of suggestion can be. It may have been the late hour, the theta brain waves, perhaps it was the brain meld...

For all I know I could now be an irradiated chicken cunningly mingling with society, waiting for my chance to shed my disguise and claim world domination.


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Online DVD rental convenience delivered to your door. Watch the latest trailers and get free delivery and free return by post. And no late fees.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Of all the dopey things to turn up in my inbox this morning.

Note to spammers:

1. I don't speak... er - that language.

2. I know when strange banks send me strange messages in strange languages, they're really reaching.

3. Ain't gonna be singur clicken anything, thanks Mr Intelegere. Or should I call you Pentru?

4. And flubbidy flubbity to you to. Don't wanna se va face round here no more.

Special note: Congratulations to the winner of the Macy's competition, drawn using a clever random picker - I have contacted the winner by email. I will announce the winner on my site only if s/he wishes to be identified.

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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It's almost time...

Don't wait until it's too late!!

If you want to win the $20 gift card from Macy's, you have another 48 hours to subscribe to my feeds.

It's a cinch - subscribe to my feed in the top right sidebar of my blog. You will be automatically entered in the draw to win the Macy's card.

Good luck!!


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You might also be interested in this offer, it seems that the guys at MyShoppingJobs.com are now paying people to go shopping and giving away a bunch of free stuff as well. The Free E-Guide "Get Your Purchases Free" is now available for download.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Got Jacked Sound Card Key Ring

From an 'ancient' 12-year old laptop. One day there will be a great archeological dig and people from the future will marvel at Commodore 64s and Macintosh SE/30 parts wondering "how did people survive in those days?"

Steampunk 8GB Jump Drive with Copper and encased Gears

This is pretty darn stylish. I think I want one...
Steampunk definition:
"Steampunk is a sub-genre of fantasy and speculative fiction that came into prominence in the 1980s and early 1990s. The term denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date."
Source: Wikipedia

Shift Computer Key Necklace

Nothing says "I Love You" more than a computer keyboard necklace. Except maybe a large amount of WoW gold...

Tetris Pendant

So completely geek filled. Even more geeky is finding a person with the correct matching tetris pendant. It's like "Perfect Match" only more ..er ...nerdy.

Come to the Dark Side T-Shirt

Cookies eh?...

Strong am I with the force

...but not that strong.

As you are probably aware, I am a little obsessed with cars at the moment. I want a car. No, scratch that, I need a car. Big time. Given a perfect scenario I would like a nice car. Not just any car, a really, really nice car. One of those 'exotic' ones that has been lovingly restored or built from the ground up. Yes, they are expensive but they're pretty dang amazing as well.

I have found the perfect place to fit out the perfect car with high performance car parts - for Lexus, Lamborghini and Ferrari and other high performance vehicles.

From personal experience I have been for a two and a half hour journey in a Ferrari once before. Granted, they have very little back seat room but I remember being stuck to the seat by gravity for most of the journey. I can see why people buy them if they happen to have the money.

The company, 'In Sixth Gear' also offers a door to door car customization service and loads of ideas for sprucing up your car. The site also features GPS tracking systems (for those of you who travel in style without a sense of direction), wheels and tires, engine parts to headlights and fog lights. This site is likely to appeal to those who enjoy racing cars, high performance luxury cars and motoring enthusiasts who enjoy "fixing up" various models.

This post brought to you by InSixthGear.com

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Charlie Brown Soft Toy

This is just cute. I used to read a lot of Charlie Brown as a kid and I think my favourite character was Schroeder. He reminded me of me when I used to practice the piano and didn't want to be distracted. Lucy used to annoy the crap out of me. I'm convinced she was based on a real person...

Petrified Wood - Limb

This is one of those gifts for the person who has everything - except for a petrified wood limb. If I decided to start a collection, I would have displays of crystals, fossils and various other oddities. It's called being eccentric.

Donnie Darko Original Soundtrack - Score featuring "Mad World"

Most people I know have an opinion on this movie. It is one of those films that is hard to define and even harder to quantify. The soundtrack was also an important feature of this film - if you ask me, many films would be less than great if not for the score.

Obama "We did it" Guitar Picks

It's amazing how many Obama items are for sale throughout the internet. This is a new age, a new era where the US president can move merchandise in such a manner.
The last US president seemed to fare less well...

Except perhaps for the sales of George W Bush dartboards...

Monday, April 06, 2009

I recently got my first ad offer for Twittad - the new Twitter advertising platform. It will be interesting to see how it goes (and of course I'm looking forward to getting paid!)

Twittad works like this:

  • Twitter member signs up for Twittad
  • Twittad advertisers place requests to advertise on member's Twitter page
  • Twitter member accepts (or declines) ad
  • Twitter member gets paid and the end of the advertising run (eg. 7 days, 14 days etc.)
The ad will replace your Twitter background for the duration of the advertising run. Here is a demonstration using my Twitter page as an example:

Before Twittad:

During Twittad advertising period:

After the advertising period your Twitter page reverts to its normal appearance. I have no idea how this Twittad thing is going to perform for both Twitter users and advertisers - what do you think?

If you are interested you can sign up here to join Twittad.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

I have been overwhelmed lately with social networking. I Twitter until my hands fall off, Entrecard until I go cross-eyed and scour the halls of BlogCatalog like a hungry wolf...

I have discovered a new concept that I would not have thought about before - a social networking site called acobay based on common interests and "stuff".

It's so simple, dang it! I actually wish I had thought of it first. So I had to join up and see what it was all about.

The concept is actually pretty simple - you connect with people with whom you share interests or stuff - for example, let's say you are an Apple Mac enthusiast. You go to Computers-Apple and check out all the different Macs. You can either pick the one that you own, thus connecting you with other users of the same model, or you can add it to your wish list and discuss it with people who already own this model.

As soon as I joined, loaded up my avatar and set my profile (it's "LJP" by the way) - and went straight to my favourite category - Automobiles. I will be buying a car very soon but I am still shopping around for the right model. I found what is in my opinion to be the best car in the world - a Chevrolet Impala.

Yes, I did get the idea from watching too many episodes of "Supernatural" but it is the coolest car in the world. So I added it to my wish list:

I am a big believer in the law of attraction. Wish lists and watch lists and things of this nature tend to energise the decision that you will own this object. I can see myself spending a lot of time on this site...