I loved being on holiday, it was like having a pressure valve released. I felt like a new person after 12 hours of being away. I do however have mixed feelings about staying at the Great Ocean Hotel (aka Top Pub) in Apollo Bay. I guess I could start by summarizing the good and bad points : -

Good
1. The balcony overlooks the mountains and the foreshore. And you can hear the ocean. And you can see the golf course from the balcony and out of the hotel window.

2. The beds are comfy. Good mattresses. I slept like a log every night.

3. Guest soaps and guest towels. Very cute - old world charm etc.

4. Ye-olde building, wood panelling and if you pretend hard enough, you could be in a seaside English town. Apart from the flies and the drunken a@#$holes yelling various obscenities outside the window. Except that some of the drunken a@#$holes WERE English backpackers. And Scottish. And French?!?! In fact, we may have been the only Australians staying at the pub. The noisiest and nastiest loudmouths running rampant in the street were Australian however - possibly even locals. Scary stuff.

5. Okay, I think I've inadvertently switched over to the bad points. Oops. Okay, when we turned up at the hotel, lugging bags and wanting to just crash and go downstairs and have a beer, the guy at the counter said "here's your key" with a big smile. So I go upstairs to find an unlocked room with no bedding on the bed, no towels, no soap, nothing at all. A mattress protector on the bed mocked my tired legs and brain. I thought, what the crap do we do now?

So I go downstairs and tell the guy. He acts like it's no big deal. I slowed down my speech and said "So the room I specifically requested and that you told me would be ready - is not ready. On the day we said we would be arriving." He looked blank and said "yeah?" like he didn't understand. He was about 20 years old and his arrogance was starting to get to me. "So what are we supposed to do now?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah. You can have this room instead. It's nicer anyway. I don't think the cleaner's been in this week."

Fine, I thought. Trudging up the stairs again, we looked at this room. It had no TV and no curtains and the sun was streaming in like something out of Raiders of the Lost Arc.













I ask you. How the crap could you get any sleep when you get full sun at around 6:30am? We'd wake up suntanned! So I trudged down again, quite composed under the circumstances, and told him there were no curtains. He gave me yet another key. Another guy from the hotel was a bit more helpful, he told us he would call the cleaner and try and get our original room ready for the next day of our stay.

I opened the door and found yet another room with no TV, no table and no mirror. My partner and I looked at each other and both thought "stuff it! This will do." We realised they were not likely to get it together to fix up the room we originally booked. And we were right. They did, however finally get the room ready and let somebody else stay in there instead of us. At that point, we couldn't be bothered worrying about it anymore.

6. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention the bathrooms. Ha!!! The shower head in the female showers was busted. In fact, it has been that way for over 18 months - the last time I stayed in the hotel! How much trouble would it be to get a wrench and fix the dang shower head? I ask you. Here is a picture of me trying to have a shower in this ridiculous contraption:

















And here is a picture of our room. It was designed for 2 people (double bed) + 2 more people in bunks. How cosy. The bunks gave us somewhere to put our luggage, I suppose!


















Excuse the mess, there was hardly any floor space!

On the second night, the hotel completely ran out of toilet paper. It was getting late and we went downstairs to ask for it to be replaced. The guy we spoke to (another employee) said "I've just knocked off." Well, that's great but could you get someone to help us? I mean just because you've knocked off, and are getting pissed at the very place where you work, it doesn't mean that the problem has gone away. Around 6 people staying on the floor without toilet paper for the night? Or more? It doesn't bear thinking about. So after hunting around for ages and asking various people we finally got someone to do something about the TP situation. At this point we should have been getting paid by the hour!

Then, later that night, the same guy from the desk on the first day let a bunch of loud drunken thugs from off the street into the hotel. They proceeded to rush up and down the halls banging on the walls and doors bellowing "any good looking Sheilas here?"

1. People actually say Sheilas?
2. I'm glad I was asleep with the door locked. My partner was glad of this as well. He was on the balcony at the time, watching these thugs run rampant through the private halls of the hotel, while the guy who WORKED there leaned over the balcony yelling obscenities at people in the street at the top of his voice.

But despite all these bizarre experiences, the price of the hotel was good ($60 per night for the room) and we had a brilliant relaxing time. I wouldn't recommend this place wholeheartedly, but it was kind of ok. The 20 year old guy got a complaint from yet another guest about the obscenities and the balcony situation and ironically he said to us "what does he expect, staying in a pub?"

Hmm. Well, I suppose I expect a basic standard of accommodation. A room that is made up when you arrive, a shower that works, toilet paper in the bathrooms and a certain level of security from unhinged thugs on a drinking rampage.

In terms of the star rating system, for a backpacker hotel, I'd give it 1.5 stars.
* = Clean basic accommodation with simple furnishing and facilities.
* * = Moderate accommodation with comfortable furnishings and facilities.

I took points off for no TP, grotty shower curtain and no mirror etc. I added points for the comfy bed. That's as much as I can give them, I'm afraid. At least until they can get the place in order and take it a bit more seriously.

Technorati Tags: Great Ocean Hotel Star Rating Apollo Bay Holiday Top Pub

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Carmex Lip Balm - $5.99 from your local chemist or online.












I would like to thank Cat from Living With Multiple Personalities for turning my attention to this underrated lip balm. This product, as far as I can tell, is relatively new in Australia and once I tried it, I'm never going back!!

Rating: 10/10 - yep, that's right! I actually think it's better than the Blistex lip balm that I rated 10/10. Hmmm. Maybe I can give this one 10.5 out of 10?

It feels good on the lips, smells nice, and most of all, it actually moisturises. It also comes in a tube form but I have not yet been able to find this in Australia so far. Here's what it looks like:








Back in my original Lip Balm Challenge post, Cat commented that Carmex is good for taking on skiing trips. Me, I don't ski. In fact in terms of skiing I am a complete disaster area. For someone so coordinated for rollerblading, running, yoga and pilates, I am at a loss to understand this phenomenon. I tried downhill skiing near the border of Washington State and Canada after doing minimal training cross-country skiing at Lake Mountain, Victoria, Australia. For those of you who have not been to Lake Mountain, it is pretty tame compared to anywhere, let alone the USA/Canada. So, after a 1 hour lesson with a depressingly coordinated instructor, I got on the chairlift with my friend and started the climb to the "Green" run. When we neared the top, she told me "don't worry, heaps of people fall when they try to get off the chairlift". We dismounted and surprisingly, she fell and I didn't. This is going to be easy, I thought. Now, skis parallel, slightly pointed in, off we go.

Suddenly everything went blank. I was flying down the mountain, without a clue of what I had just been taught in the 1-hour lesson. Was it skis pointed in? Did you use your heels? Toes? Arms? I had no idea. All I knew was that I was going faster and faster, and I didn't have any idea how to stop.

And something else was happening. Each time I hit a bump, I was jumping off to another course. If I kept going, I would be on the black run. I was going too fast for my fear to catch up to me. I would rather swim with piranhas than go on the Black Run. That is strictly for suicidal maniacs and ridiculously outdoorsy types who actually have control over their bodies and their skis.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted as I hit another bump. I was airborne. I couldn't believe how high I was flying. I was flying so high I could hear the people on the chairlift talking. I clearly heard a girl say "Is she going to die?" as I flew past the lifts and towards a big pile of white.

*BANG!* *BANG!* BANG!*

My head hit the snow three times. I was practically buried and I couldn't see anything. My head was down the mountain and my skis were pointing up the mountain towards the sky. Somehow I had flown backwards. Everything was dark and I couldn't really move. Or could I? I wiggled my foot. Then my hands. Letting go of my poles, I dragged and dug myself out of my snowy resting place. I was okay. Well, I had a F#$%ck of a headache, but I was okay.

I looked up to see one of the officials from the ski resort standing over me. He looked extremely pissed off.

"The beginners run is THAT way." He said grumpily, then stalked off.

I started to laugh. One, because I was alive, and two, because that guy thought I was stupid enough to ever try anything like that again.

Technorati Tags: Lip Balms product review Carmex Skiing

@$$#%

Expletive expletive expletive. I tried to buy this MP3 player - Creative Muvo, as I have discussed in earlier posts is pretty much all you need as far as these things are concerned. Well, all I need anyway. And some no-talent-ass-clown pips me at the post. I mean really. It's just so rude. I was watching the whole thing unfold in front of me, quite sure I had it sorted.

Some people may suggest getting the Ebay toolbar. Perhaps, but it wouldn't have helped me in this situation...

the @$$#% person somehow managed to put in a bid EXACTLY $1 over my maximum bid when the time left reads: less than 1 minutes.

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Photos in Order of Appearance (click to enlarge):

1. The Apollo Bay Clubhouse, 9th green. The first tee is around the corner
2. The spectacular 3rd hole, overlooking the ocean
3. The view from the 6th tee if you look behind you!
4. The 8th tee
5. The 9th tee with horses riding off into the sunset!

Witnessing the beauty of Apollo Bay Golf Course was a pretty amazing experience. I tried to compare it to another golf course but all I could come up with was Tiger Woods 2o03 on Playstation. It looks a bit like Torrey Pines with a bit of Pebble Beach thrown in. For those of you who don't know, Apollo Bay is in South Western Victoria, Australia (see map)















Firstly, the green fees for Apollo Bay Golf Course are reasonable. $20 for 18 holes - or $12 for 9 holes.

Secondly, the views are incredible. It is hard to concentrate on anything else. Fortunately, I was caddying so I didn't have to actually make the shots. I gave a couple of suggestions about club selection and I clicked for each shot.

My partner hit some truly beautiful shots and a number of pars. The dudes (locals) on the first tee were impressed by the seemingly effortless '3' on the first hole.

The conditions on the first day were gusty - a course like this gets a lot of wind, especially on the exposed seaside parts and any part of the course without a tree. The greens, well that was a different thing altogether. I saw balls skid and fly across greens like a dog on a tiled floor. There was no way this was going to be easy.

And... there are some moments where it is difficult to be a caddy. Like when my partner shot the ball into the trees and rather than taking a deep breath, walking around and doing a setup, he whacked the ball once.

I clicked.

And another.

I clicked, my mouth falling open but saying nothing.

Another whack and the ball was out. Finally.

I clicked again.

He looked at me and said "did you get all that?"

I nodded. And said nothing. Sometimes the best thing you can do as a caddy is say nothing. That's what I think anyway. I wouldn't want someone telling me what I already know I did wrong. We certainly had a big laugh about it at the hotel that night.

One of the shots landed in the ocean, so the next Srixon came out.

Another Srixon was lost in what looked like an old fishing hut from "I Know What You Did Last Summer". Either way, it was out of bounds and it would not have been the best idea to look for it, considering the high grass and rusty things lying around. Plus, I don't like snakes. I don't even care if they're actually there or not, it's just the thought of one lying in wait at the bottom of long grass...waiting for you to step on them.

There were some more great shots, and then disaster struck on the 2nd hole.

My partner sliced (?) - the one that goes to the left, anyway - the ball off the tee on the second hole into a shrubbery of wrong.

I thought that the last Srixon had left the building.

After much rummaging around and bending down to look at anything that appeared white, I suddenly heard my partner call out "here it is!"

I was relieved. The last Srixon saved. I looked up to see what looked like a frighteningly bad shot. It was like a chopping motion down into the ground and the club didn't seem to go anywhere at all. I went from relieved to horrified. But suddenly, the ball trickled out of the underbrush, down the massive hill and onto the fairway again. Go figure. I have a lot to learn about golf. These 3 days of golf were so much fun and very relaxing. The sea air is very good for the health.

Anyway, these are the Srixon balls (around $15)


















They certainly performed well on the 3 consecutive days of golf. They are designed for high wind conditions and they certainly did what they were supposed to do.

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