The theme today is "SPACE!"  What kind of space, you say?  Surface space?  Room space?  Yard space?

No, I'm talking about space itself.  You know, the great unknown, the heavens, universes, mutiverses, string theory, brane (M-Theory), quantum physics and did you know that we're not really here but exist in many dimensions at once and we're all made of material that fits on something smaller than the head of a matchstick.

...sorry, got a bit carried away there.  Back to the pretty stuff:

When I was a kid, I created a "Starlight Zone" display on my ceiling, replicating the solar system in orbit.


Can we possibly improve on this?  Um,... yes.


Japan Trend Shop and friends have come up with the R2D2 star projector.  Over 60,000 stars, X-Wings, Tie Fighters, Star Wars characters and hours of fun.  And it runs on AA batteries, just like the real R2D2 (?!?!?) tee hee!!

R2D2 Planetarium Projector

The lovely people at Vintage Confections / The Original Planet Lollipops have out-nerded the lolly gods and created a brilliant set of solar system lollipops.

The Original Planet LollipopsTM Solar System

And just when you thought the awesomeness had finished...


Some folks believe the earth is flat.  Still.  Well, they don't believe in climate change, anyway.  Some believe dinosaurs didn't exist, despite fossils and stuff.

Despite human stupidity, science has provided us with a few tips.  The earth isn't the centre of the universe, orbits are ellipses, not perfect circles, and a big-assed meteorite probably wiped out the dinosaurs.  Don't believe me?  Here's proof that stuff from outer space ends up hitting the earth at some point or other...

Meteorite

Apparently, some meteorites being sold online are not genuine meteorites.  I know, shocking, right?  So how do you check if your meteorite is the real deal?

According the the knowledgeable people at Aerolite, these are the things to look out for:

1 - If it sticks to a magnet, it could very well be a meteorite.  It's not a guarantee but it helps!
2 - If it has holes in it (or 'vesicles') or is porous/grainy it's probably not a meteorite.
3 - If is H-E-A-V-Y, much heavier than normal rocks of a similar size, it probably is a meteorite.

Otherwise, you might just have a normal rock that's been spray painted silver or a piece of hematite.  Which, although pretty, kind of defeats the purpose of having an extra-terrestrial rock in the first place!



What space stuff would be complete without the answer to one of the most important questions in the universe... "Are we alone?"

Yeah right, we live on a planet the size of a speck of specky specky stuff in a big specky ball of universe-y stuff and we think we're the only ones?

It's funny how the skeptics tend to lean towards us being alone in the universe/multiverse/multi-multi-megaverses when the law of averages says its more likely we're not alone.

Oooh, spooky.  No, not really, just logic.

Anyway, the truth is out there in the form of.... Alien soap!!!

The folks at Bubblegenius have come up with a rather amusing gift basket in the form of... Alien abduction!!!

Alien Abduction Soap Gift Basket

Please note that no cows were harmed in the making of this gift basket.  Literally.  It's vegan.  And they glow in the dark!  The cow doesn't glow because it hasn't been irradiated by the aliens yet.

I can't say that it's going to be a particularly vegan experience for the real alien abduction cows though... Did I just say that?  Uh oh...

Nothing to see here...

Thingy Whatsitcalled

***Zap!!!***

What was I talking about?

Dang...

technorati tags: astronomy, space, aliens, alien abduction, gifts, novelty soap, meteorite, how to spot a meteorite, galaxy, space theme

Foodporn is something I was not aware of up until recently.  (Hello, Pinterest!)

Every time I have studied pictures and recipes of "Thai Curry" or "Shiitake Stir Fry" I have been watching foodporn.  Who knew?  I love food, and apparently foodporn as well.  I suppose there are worse vices than collecting images of the perfect pasta bake.

So what does that have to do with Australia and bullsh!t detectors?

A while ago, but not too long ago, there was this thing called a "restaurant".  When you got hungry, you turned up at a "restaurant" and because you were in Melbourne, the erstwhile capital of good food, pretty much everything was nice quality, cheap and didn't give you food poisoning.

You could even go to a restaurant and be handed a menu instead of getting it Ninja thrown at the side of your face and one could have a smoke after the meal without freezing one's proverbial off.

But then something happened...  Something that needs to be addressed, stopped and reversed immediately on pain of death.  

A Fish and Chip shop became a "Fish and Chippery", which gave the owner licence to turn a massive $2 butcher's paper roll of gargantuan chips into a dinky twerpy little folded box with 12 chips in it.  For $5.

They started calling places "Boumerange" instead of restaurant so they could charge $9.50 for a scone.
...and I don't even like scones.

Just the other day at a nice looking establishment I ordered a muffin that was doughy and uncooked, and pretty much inedible, but for some reason I was supposed to bask in the rare privilege of being seen in the luminous presence of a hideously overpriced dogbox, and it would have made no difference had I complained because they were all out the back watching Masterchef on their iPads.

So somewhere along the way it stopped being about making food that customers actually liked, and became about the "Head Chef" (formerly known as a "Chef") trying to work out his signature dish so he can get a Michelin star one day in the near distant never never never ever.

And now restaurants have gone from cosy, welcoming eateries to some kind of futuristic veterinarian's operating table so you have to strain trying to see the menu properly with the sun gleaming off 10 metres of burnished steel that is powerful enough to signal the "Spirit of Tasmania" on its return journey.

On top of this, you have the indignity of having to dress up like a sulfur crested cockatoo in mating season to get the waiters to notice you signalling them, and by that stage you have given up and gone to Bakers Delight.

The irony of being treated like crap by someone who is being exploited for $8 and hour cash-in-hand under the table, just so they can say they work at "Wankella By The Bay" and presumably impress someone who gives a rat's arse is beyond any kind of logic.

So what happened?  We became try hards.  That's right.  Ponces.  Twerps.  Snobs, dorks, pretentious bogans.  There's probably no going back now, at least for those already compromised.

Perhaps it was the introduction of Foxtel to Australia.  Foxtel brought us American game shows, talk shows, cooking programs, reality shows, fear (I mean "current affair") shows and "Fair and Balanced" (aka. "propaganda") news reporting.

Can it be all traced back to Rupert Murdoch, who, through the medium of TV, newspapers and more TV, is attempting to turn us into American talk show audience members from "Donahue".  Possibly?

I'm not quite sure of the exact connection but I'm sure it's there somewhere.

The United States on the other hand, has developed shows like "Mad TV" and "Reno 911", demonstrating not only a rudimentary understanding of irony, but a full mastery, worthy of Blackadder's finest hours.

Australia is fast losing its sense of irony, sarcasm, wit and ridicule in favour of ignorance, apathy and cashed-up-bogan-ness.

The world is upside down, it seems.

Oh and just to add insult to injury:

McDonalds and Dominoes have "head chefs" apparently (yes, his name is Joshua and he has a rather virulent strain of acne), and these "restaurants" now have "SIGNATURE DISHES".  I had to write that in capitals just so you could read the start of the sentence again and try and put it with the end of the sentence without banging your head on the nearest table.

So... to clear up a few points...

No, I'm not into the "Slow Food" movement, I actually just need to cook this for a long time because that's how the recipe goes.

I do not want "Smashed Potatoes" ferfuggssake!!  It's a potato that has been squashed.  If you tell me it tastes any different I will test out the theory that plates of smashed potatoes hurt more than plates of mashed potatoes when thrown at someone's face.

I like sun dried tomatoes.  I think the distinction "semi-dried tomatoes" is taking it a bit too far.  They look the same as the sun dried ones but cost $2 more a kilo.

I don't really want any quinoa.  Or kwweeenwaaaaahhhhh!!  Or however the crap you say it.  I don't even like porridge and I will probably like it less with the introduction of a grain that tastes weird and soapy unless you soak in under a banana leaf for 14 hours and wash it with baboon tears until clean.

A barista is another word for "wanker".  I don't care how many times you get the "perfect drip", you are one.

Let me reiterate:

You-make-coffee-in-a-coffee-shop.

And finally, I will most definitely be skipping the "Marinated Feta With Bush Dust".  I mean seriously, I love feta.  But bush dust?  It conjures up images of bulls, dust and the inevitable movements of bulls after eating too much grass.  Perhaps the bull made the mistake of eating "Grass Jus With Strawberry Cow Pat Couli", I suppose that would explain the urgency.

I will leave you with a memory of what Australia once was, and perhaps a brief glimmer of what it could become, if we just put down the truffle mandolin and start again:

technorati tags: foodporn, bullshit meter, masterchef, foxtel, murdoch, fast forward, sbs lady, restaurant, truffle mandolin, phat phuc noodle bar

I have possibly broken YouTube with my constant hitting on the "repeat" button.

QOTSA.

My God Is The Sun.

For the first time EVER I have pre-ordered an album.

Get it here:


Listen and Enjoy:

technorati tags: qotsa, queens of the stone age, like clockwork, my god is the sun, josh homme, dave grohl, keep your eyes peeled, smooth sailing

I'm not going to go into a big dissertation about what Kurt Cobain meant to various people.  Just going to listen to this recording.

It's Kurt Cobain's isolated vocals from "Smells Like Teen Spirit."  It starts about 30 seconds in.

technorati tags: kurt cobain, kurt cobain anniversary, kurt cobain isolated vocals, kurt krist dave, nirvana, nirvana songs, 8th April 1994

Well, they have elected a new Pope.  I'm not Catholic myself (thank God!) - hahahha irony alert!!!

As much as I don't care for the machinations of organized religion, I had an idea on who the new pontiff could be.

If anyone has seen "An Idiot Abroad" you will know who I am talking about.  If not, you may be a little perplexed.

I thought it would be a great idea if Ricky Gervais, as part of his usual "trick Karl Pilkington into doing something he really doesn't want to do... for a laugh", somehow got Karl to become Pope for a day, or perhaps a little longer.

I have put together a picture of what this might look like...

Not sure if the Vatican allows mobile phones but I think Karl might be needing one at this point!


Feel free to share, we may be able to get something going here...

technorati tags: new pope, karl pilkington, karl pilkington for pope, pope karl, vatican, 2013