This estate wine opener adds a touch of class to any bench or bar. The style is reminiscent of the 1890s - probably older than most of your wines. These ornate wine openers are hand polished and feature intricate designs:




















Estate Wine Opener






















This champion wine opener features polished hardwood for an elegant finish. These beauties are designed to cork and re-cork wine bottles (flange top and standard wine bottles). They provide ease of use and look beautiful as a feature in your kitchen or bar. You can also find Rogar Corkscrews and various accessories for the wine connoisseur.

No more sticking the bottle between your legs Basil Fawlty-style and whacking yourself in the forehead. This is the way to open wine.

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm a Scorpio but I just love these things. They make me think of open fireplaces, Sherlock Holmes desks and smoking jackets. These wine openers are a nifty way of simultaneously providing decoration and function.

Doggie Bag

Yuk yuk. I Love it. *snicker*

You could... take it home with you!! (I am sincerely sorry about that, I couldn't resist!)

























Rocket Alarm Clock

This thing actually goes through a countdown and launches the rocket across the room. There’s something so amazingly cool about that...

Yes, it does keep the alarm sounding until you fossick about on your hands and knees trying to replace the rocket to its holder. That almost qualifies it for the sadistic gift file. But it does have a snooze button and it simulates launch off. What more do you want?




And of course...















Monty Python Killer Rabbit Stapler

Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

It's the most foul, bad tempered rodent you ever set eyes on. Raaa!!! A tad unnerving for everyday stapling - kind of like having a Hannibal Lecter dinner set.

I can just see numerous idiots holding this up to their neck going "Aaargh!! Get the holy hand grenade of Antioch!!"

*click*

"Oh sh!t."

"Uh... anyone got a band-aid?"

technorati tags: wacky gifts, killer rabbit monty python, rocket alarm clock, doggie bag, geekgifts

Don't shout so loud, everyone will want one. *bdum cha* (drum crash) 

 As I write this I am rather rapidly making my way through an entire pack of Mentos chewy dragees.

I ordered cream of mushroom soup today. The soup was nice, the usual standard I have come to expect from this establishment. Until that moment. It wasn't hard to find. The thing about cream of mushroom soup is that it's kind of white. And the thing about this hair was that it was kinda black. And short. And er... curly. Note: In this restaurant none of the staff appeared to have curly hair. Not on their heads, anyway. 

My face froze as I found the offending item, fished it out and put it on a napkin. It was at that same moment I lost my appetite. Perhaps permanently. 

This would make a great diet plan - I could call it the "Hairy Soup" diet. Guaranteed to put people off food forever. I do sometimes wonder if I have a sign above my head saying "Do something unspeakably gross in my food please". The fact that it was cream of mushroom soup doesn't bear thinking about.

BLAAAHHAAHHAA!!!!!! (Eats another Mentos) 

I told the waitress about the hair. She smiled at me as if to say "oh good". I suspect she did not have the faintest clue about what it was I had just told her. 

To quote John McClane (Bruce Willis) from the Die Hard quadrilogy: "How can the same sh!t happen to the same guy twice?" Or girl in this case. Please refer to previous post 'Waiter There's A Pubic Hair In My Tofu'. 

 I may never eat again.

 

technorati tags: cream of mushroom soup, restaurant, tofu restaurant pubic hair, hygiene