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Thursday, June 07, 2012

Nostril Yoga

Just when you think it's safe to go back to machine translations when writing your article, take a word of caution - if you don't have anyone to check the result in your chosen language, you won't know what it really says.
According to andlaaligarh, this is supposed to be the STEP-BY-STEP correct procedure to follow for something known as "face glow yoga".

All quotes in bold are credited to andlaaligarh so please don't sue me!  This is all in good fun, at least I think so!!

Face Glow Yoga:

"...These facials us a name can get..."

- It seems Yoda has been hired as a guest writer!!  Branching out these days, he certainly is. Hmmmm.

" ...Shrink eyebrows, forehead Council take a stand and stand..."

- I agree.  It's important to shrink the eyebrows when taking a stand against the forehead council.  They are a pack of bureaucratic mongrels and need to be stopped.... small eyebrow power!

" ...Eyes turn round in either direction..."

- I think I saw this on the exorcist once...  Call in a priest I say!

"...Absolves and spread lips..."

- Again with the priest thing!  They must throw in an absolution after the exorcism.  

"...Teeth and close the show..."

- Err... The Osmonds?  I'm sure they closed a few shows in their time...

"...Ten count back to the neck..."

- Probably the new Lady Gaga dance routine.   

"...Nostrils Picking and relax..."

- I'm literally not touching that one!!

Who knew that picking one's nostrils could lead to an increased "glow on your face".  Or standing up to a council could give you small eyebrows.  That's if you wanted small eyebrows for some reason.  Make sure your head doesn't start spinning and ALWAYS close with a song.  Big smiles and jazz hands!!!


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