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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Beautiful Gifts for Beautiful Nerds

i am a total geek

Gifts for the special nerd in your life.  Nerds defy categorization and span the boundaries of modern life.  That said, I wouldn't be giving a Star Trek New Generation enterprise model to a die-hard Original Star Trek fan.  Things might get messy, kinda like a phaser on 10 (disruption effect).

Likewise, you better be sure that your nerd loved one is mad about the gift you will be giving them.

A few tips - drop some hints like, "do you prefer the Metallicar from Supernatural or the Batmobile?"
(if you ask me, the answer's obvious but people can surprise you with their answers sometimes!)

Or "who is scarier - Freddy Krueger, Jason, Michael Myers or Mick from Wolf Creek?"

Or..."which is better - TIE Fighter, X-Wing or Romulan Bird-Of-Prey?"

If they can't give a sensible answer, or think that these spacecrafts came from the same movie or series, they are not a nerd.  Get them an iPod loaded with One Direction, Rihanna, Kanye West and Black Eyed Peas and a gift voucher for a stupid haircut instead.

Oh, and if they think that Stargate Universe was better than Stargate Atlantis, then all hope is lost.

You have to determine the LEVEL of nerd before choosing a gift.  Bear in mind, there are some sci-fi nerds that actually know the planet on which you get the crystals from which to make lightsabres.  Really.

I know that the Death Star blew up Alderaan and I know that Princess Leia lived there.  So I'm not at the  "All-hail-5Gigasquillion-warlock-nerd-basement-abode-pop-tart-overlord" level just yet.

Anyway, back to the gifts:

USS Reliant NCC-1864

This is for fans of "Wrath of Khan".  Why this model?  Well, it's so people can come around and say "Oh wow!  A model of the Enterprise!" and you can go "no, it's the USS Reliant NCC-1864.  Can't you tell the obvious differences between an Anton/Miranda class (Reliant sub-class) and a Constitution class?  I mean they're both Federation Starfleet but..."

At this stage your guest will either be:

a.  Enthralled and slightly embarrassed for getting it wrong
b.  About to hit you over the head with your collectible "Hammer of Thor"
c.  Asleep

Supernatural 1967 Chevy Impala

A.K.A.  "Metallicar"  Die cast model to die for (hehehe!)  I don't really know why I'm putting this in here.  I want this for myself.  And if you get the last one before I do, I'll cover you with sea salt, demon!!

Freddy Krueger

"A Nightmare on Elm Street" stood the test of time quite well, at least the 1st and 3rd ones.  The second one isn't worth mentioning and well, a couple of the later ones were okay.  Not terrible, just okay.  But, Freddy Krueger is still loved and feared around the world, and so he should be.

I have my own Freddy Krueger action figure already.  I also used to sleep under a massive poster of Freddy Krueger's face.  Nobody, but nobody understood why I did this.  I will briefly explain.

If you are a kid, afraid of falling asleep because Freddy Krueger is going to get you, then it makes perfect sense (to me anyway!) to go to sleep under a big effigy of Freddy Krueger.  It's like, "I'm going to sleep, right under Freddy's face.  What else ya got?"

Stargate Atlantis Resin Model Set

After making this model, you could paint it and then submerge it in a fish tank, complete with elaborate decorations.  You might want to avoid putting fish in there due to the paint and superglue toxins!

Boba Fett

The coolest bounty hunter in the galaxy.

Take care of the special nerd in your life, they may seem a bit wacky and hard to understand sometimes, but I believe that one day, nerds will save the world.


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