Last night, I was standing on the tram, holding my umbrella in one hand and holding on to the pole with the other.

I noticed an intriguing pamphlet sticking out of a document holder on the pole near the door. It said in big letters "DID YOU KNOW?"

I let go of the pole with my hand and started to pull it out, trying to get a look at the words underneath.

Suddenly the tram lurched forwards, causing me to fall backwards and hit the glass divider behind me.

The tram stopped again and I gathered myself together. I looked at the pamphlet in my hand.

What was so important and intriguing, I wondered, that the action of reading it had caused me to let go of the pole and fall over?

I held on to the pole firmly and read:

DID YOU KNOW?

...more people hurt themselves on trams than on a trapeze? But why?

...the answer is pretty simple - trapeze artists hold on.

...we care for your safety so

PLEASE HOLD ON WHILE STANDING

and stay safe on the tram.

technorati tags: tram safety leaflet

Owning your own home is just the beginning - you may find yourself up to your eyeballs in directories looking for general contractors such as flooring specialists, roofing specialists, tree loppers, heating specialists and plumbers. The question is, how do you know your expert will have the right qualifications?

The ClickSmart directory contains a listing for various contractors. The ClickSmart contractors are listed as certified experts and licensed in the state in which they do business. For example, the listing for Miami general contractors will be for contractors licensed in the state of Florida. The contractors are also required to be in good standing with the Better Business Bureau, which makes for a better experience when choosing the right person for the job. Remember to do your research before you commit and you will save yourself a lot of difficulty in the long run.

The train was into the second stop on the line when she sat next to me.

I was secretly annoyed because I was talking on the phone. One minute I was in full flight in a conversation and two seconds later I had a stranger sitting next to me.

Staring right at my face.

Now, far be it from me to call "weirdbag alert" but the signs were not looking good. So, suddenly I had to get off the phone from a conversation I was enjoying because I didn't feel comfortable with this strange woman listening in.

Stop 3 - I'm off the phone and thinking "oh, she's probably not a weirdo. Look, she looks quite normal." And she did, maybe in her 30s or 40s, normal looking as far as I could tell.

Then the smell hits me. Ammonia. Cat's p!ss? Human? Eeek.

Out of everyone on the train I get the lucky seat. The insides of my nostrils stung.

"Tough it out." I said to myself. "Is it coming from her?" I sniffed again, nearly gagging.

Yes it was.

She then proceeded to put her feet on the seats in front of her. The smell got stronger. That meant one of two things. Either she had stepped in... or....I didn't want to think anymore.

Then I realise something. I'm trapped in. The seats are three on each side. I was seated near the window, she near the aisle (do you call it an aisle on a train? That makes it sound so much more exciting). She had placed her feet on the seat opposite her so I was trapped in. I had to get her to move her feet in order to get out.

Okay, I'm trapped in. I thought. No! Even better, I'm trapped in and now she's got her eyes closed.

Oh, crap.

So I can't signal that I want to get out because she can't see me. But I must get out because if I don't, my nostril hairs will never be the same again.

Stop 4 - I start taking shallow breaths.

Stop 5 - I think I can make it.

"Wouhoughagh!"

She coughed so loudly it made me jump. What the hell?

Lucky me, the cough had been coming my way without a courtesy cover. Sh!t, now her eyes were closed again. I'm not touching her leg. That's just it.

The smell got so strong I started to absorb it through my eyes, nose and ears.

"Wouhoughagh!" "Cack!"

I saw my chance! She had just opened her eyes momentarily to make that horrendous sound. Without a pause I leapt up and stood for a second, not breathing, while she slowly lowered her legs from the seat.

I walked calmly, very quickly away from the area, stopping at the other end of the carriage. I will never forget that smell as long as I live.

When I got off the platform for some reason someone was smoking some green stuff at this very busy, very popular Melbourne station.

I stood with my nose in the air, taking very deep breaths.

technorati tags: train public transport weirdo

An article has been brought to my attention - tips for protecting yourself while shopping online. I found the article to have a number of good points, many of which could be elaborated.

I agree that the most important thing to notice is the URL bar and whether or not it says "https". Some commenters made additions to the shopping security checklist. For example, don't enter your credit card details from a public computer (ie. internet cafe). To add my own points to the article, don't send your credit card details through email - email is notoriously unsafe for this kind of information. Make sure you enter these details on a trusted, secure site.

technorati tags: shopping online safety

This latest purchase from an overstock outlet is testament to my rabid addiction to quality cookware. 18cm, 16/18 stainless steel and copper base for even and rapid heat distribution. And a lifetime guarantee.

It's perfect for such gourmet delights as macaroni and cheese and two-minute noodles. The first dish I cooked in it was macaroni and cheese. Since then, I haven't cooked anything else of note, I generally use it for heating sauces made in the larger pots. One of these days I'm going to cook something extremely nutritious - every pot needs a christening and in my mind, macaroni and cheese doesn't count. It really needs to be something home cooked. Fresh ingredients. That is, something that doesn't require the use of a noodle packet and a can of cheese goo.

retail price:$69.95
my price: $44.95 (hee hee!!)

Embarking on my cooking exploits I will need some inspiration. French onion soup is the one foremost in my mind. It's very easy - you basically need garlic, herbs, a bag of onions, vegetable stock and some bread. Perhaps some gruyere cheese. I can't stop thinking about food because I am really hungry. Here's a picture to prolong the torture.


I think I'll go trolling for recipes, see what I can dig up. I'd like to try an asian soup as well, maybe udon noodles or crazy mushroom dish. I'm fascinated by Chinese mushrooms - they're dried, weird and I'm terrified of them. But I am determined to use them. I once tried wood-ear fungus and seriously could have eaten the whole plate had politeness not been a concern. I will become proficient with the mushroom, no matter how long it takes!!

technorati tags: cooking baccarat saucepan shopping