I have scoured the edges of the earth for a simple, straightforward black cardigan. Do you think it was easy? Noooo.

They come with ruffles. Or shiny buttons, or beads, or frilly bits that hang asymetrically. Or those half-cardigans that make you wonder if you've actually got it on. And in this weather (5 dang degrees last night!!) you want to make sure you're rugged up and warm.

But finally my quest was er... quonquered.

Here it is in all its splendour:





















I spotted it on Ebay and had to have it. The auction ended in 9 days and I couldn't wait that long. I contacted the seller and said "if you put a buy it now price of $20 on that cardy I'll pay for it straight away." I wasn't sure if that tactic would work but I tried anyway. No sooner had I sent the message and the "buy it now $20" sign was up. I snapped it up and couldn't be happier. It is soooo warm.


P.S. Unrelated rant: The new Firefox sucks. Nothings works on it. Grrrr. I'm going back to the old one on oldapps.com

technorati tags: black cardigan, clothes, shop, shopping, Art Deco Ebay shopping shop, onlineshopping

Since winning my laptop in the DealsDirect Australian Bloggers competition, I have been researching prepaid wireless dongles on Ebay for what seems like a millennia.

Finally I decided on Optus, as the reliability and coverage is reported to be better than the other networks. I had witnessed others struggling with their various network's connections, suffering dropouts, and finally taking up creative swearing. I had to be vigilant.











I found an Optus USB slimline modem (dongle) on Ebay for $100 - not bad, considering they are $200 new plus $30 for a new SIM card.

Now, I have always considered myself to be quite adept with computers, having used them since I was around seven years old, perhaps earlier. I learned to program in basic, connect networks, install and configure operating systems on PC and Mac. I later learned HTML, completed a course in CSS and enjoy tinkering with code and other such nerdy pursuits.

The USB dongle instructions couldn't be simpler:

1. Put SIM card in USB dongle.

2. Insert USB dongle into computer. Wait around 7-10 minutes as the dongle automatically installs itself. The wonders of modern technology.

3. Click on the icon and press "Connect".

Now lets be fair. Even a monkey could probably work out how to do this after a bit of trial and error. But do you think I could get the dang thing to work? Nooooooo.

So I called Optus telephone support with all the enthusiasm of a heretic at a Spanish Inquisition party.

"Hello, Optus, how can I help you?"

The line was bad and I could tell I had called somewhere in the vicinity of Mumbai.

"Um, yes. I've installed the USB dongle and that's all fine but it won't connect. It keeps saying 'SIM card not recognised', I can't work out the problem."

So for the next twenty minutes we go through a number of avenues, SIM card set up, SIM card activation, password this and identification number that.

She suddenly stopped and I could hear her thinking.

"Uh, have you installed the SIM card properly?"

"Yes. Well, I think so anyway. Hang on let me check."

My heart rose as my nerd cred sank.

I looked at the dongle.

Pulled out the SIM card.

Checked the gold connection points.

They were on the wrong side.

Super nerd had inserted the SIM card upside down.

"How is that now?" she asked.

"Er, yeah. It works. Er... perfectly. Wow, that's great. Thanks."

"Have I been any help to you today?" She asked hopefully.

For the first time in my life was able to say yes.

technorati tags: optus prepaid wireless broadband dongle

I have been rather unwell of late, which means I have been watching a large amount of TV. In my half-stupor, I have been transfixed, unable to gather up the energy to change the channel - hence my exposure to another informercial.

The "Snuggie".

The Snuggie is amazing. It can keep you warm while providing arm holes so you can (quote / unquote) "move your arms".

Yeah. So can a jumper.

Or a blanket. But according to the infomercial, blankets can apparently "slip and slide". And when you're wearing a blanket and you try to reach for something, your hands are "trapped inside". Really? I was not aware of that. Maybe some people actually do spend a lot of time trapped inside slippery blankets that grip tighter than a strait jacket. It's probably more common than I think.

















Here's his holiness now, enjoying a well-earned rest and a snack. Oh no, wait. It's a Snuggie. Papal fashion must be in.


















Of course one size fits all. It's a big, shapeless, weird-assed robe.

Note to couples: if anyone sees you wearing this thing they will most likely assume you have joined some whacko religious cult. What they probably won't say to your face is that you look kind of... well... deranged.


















Wait a moment. Did they just say "outdoors"? Fine. Just fine. It's just that if your neighbour pops his head over the fence he'll be off calling the police, explaining that members of the Spanish Inquisition are holding a revival in your backyard...



















No. Please. Come on. They're wearing these things outside. In public.
At sporting events. Where there are other people.
Oh, the humanity.


















Ah, now the commercial is assuring us that the Snuggie is perfect for those drafty dorm rooms.

Yeah? Well they're about to get a whole lot draftier.

Take hormonal school leavers, add beer, add parties and add... a Snuggie? Wow.

What a great way to be on your own every Saturday night...

Repel guys...

...And girls...

And get a serious embarrassment complex leading to problems in interpersonal relationships later in life.

On the bright side, it gives you much more time to study...

So... if you want to embarrass your kids, look like a lost member of a goat-sacrificing cult, the Pope or even a member of the Spanish Inquisition, if being warm is far more important to you than looking like sensible human being, if you think looking hot in College is for squares... and you really don't want to find a partner...

ever...

Then what are you waiting for?

Call now...

technorati tags: shopping snuggie infomercial
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