WTF?!?!? I just stumbled on to a site about buttock augmentation.
Each week I spend at least an hour and a half, maybe more, often a lot less, on walking with hand weights.
And I find out that some people are paying money, that's right, thousands of dollars, to get a bigger butt.
Just eat more Sara Lee desserts!!
Stock up on choccies!
Throw away your Pilates equipment and books on yoga.
Switch to full fat lattes.
But, for the love of God, do not withdraw thousands of dollars from your savings account so you can have a larger ass.
Perhaps I could start a new craze.
I'll sell books, DVDs, and I'll even bring seminars to a town near you.
It will be called.
"The big butt diet"
People will go crazy. Ever since J-Lo came on the scene people have wanted bigger booties. Beyonce is another bum icon. Alicia Keys is getting there.
For only $49.95 I'll give you a DVD on how to avoid exercise (especially in the gluteal area!) and how to make friends with every deli owner in your neighbourhood.
I'll give you a special "butt expander pack" consisting of a large rubber band and a pointless lever. But I'll show J-Lo on the machine in the infomercial which will prove beyond a doubt that this thing really works.
And lastly, I'll hold personal development seminars so you can talk to your "inner butt" and find out why it hasn't been allowed to grow.
Just call 1880-BUTT-EXPANDER for further details
Cheques will not be honoured.
Save Your Money and Your Butt