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Monday, May 25, 2009


I have been rather unwell of late, which means I have been watching a large amount of TV. In my half-stupor, I have been transfixed, unable to gather up the energy to change the channel - hence my exposure to another informercial.

The "Snuggie".

The Snuggie is amazing. It can keep you warm while providing arm holes so you can (quote / unquote) "move your arms".

Yeah. So can a jumper.

Or a blanket. But according to the infomercial, blankets can apparently "slip and slide". And when you're wearing a blanket and you try to reach for something, your hands are "trapped inside". Really? I was not aware of that. Maybe some people actually do spend a lot of time trapped inside slippery blankets that grip tighter than a strait jacket. It's probably more common than I think.

Here's his holiness now, enjoying a well-earned rest and a snack. Oh no, wait. It's a Snuggie. Papal fashion must be in.

Of course one size fits all. It's a big, shapeless, weird-assed robe.

Note to couples: if anyone sees you wearing this thing they will most likely assume you have joined some whacko religious cult. What they probably won't say to your face is that you look kind of... well... deranged.

Wait a moment. Did they just say "outdoors"? Fine. Just fine. It's just that if your neighbour pops his head over the fence he'll be off calling the police, explaining that members of the Spanish Inquisition are holding a revival in your backyard...

No. Please. Come on. They're wearing these things outside. In public.
At sporting events. Where there are other people.
Oh, the humanity.

Ah, now the commercial is assuring us that the Snuggie is perfect for those drafty dorm rooms.

Yeah? Well they're about to get a whole lot draftier.

Take hormonal school leavers, add beer, add parties and add... a Snuggie? Wow.

What a great way to be on your own every Saturday night...

Repel guys...

...And girls...

And get a serious embarrassment complex leading to problems in interpersonal relationships later in life.

On the bright side, it gives you much more time to study...

So... if you want to embarrass your kids, look like a lost member of a goat-sacrificing cult, the Pope or even a member of the Spanish Inquisition, if being warm is far more important to you than looking like sensible human being, if you think looking hot in College is for squares... and you really don't want to find a partner...


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  1. Haha, you must learn to appreciate the ways of the Snuggie!

  2. @Snuggie Pattern Guy - Strong am I with the Snuggie - but not that strong...


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