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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Bras Bras Bras!!!

I went bra shopping last week. I forgot how much I hate bra shopping.

Do not. I repeat. Do not go bra shopping in "boutique" (spew!) shops in places such as Chapel Street and Toorak Road unless you are suicidal and want something to tip you over the edge.

I was "assisted" by a scrawny bag of bones that looked at me like I was something from outer space to be studied and tested.

The anomaly? Er...I have breasts.

And shopping in a bra shop. WHAT NEXT?!?!?!

Her blank blue eyes appraised me coldly. "Well...um. We can perhaps do a fitting for you"

Her saccharine-drenched tones cut through me like glass.

No bloody thank you. I do not want to be subjected to prodding and poking by a Paris Hilton-esque greyhound-shaped, solarium-toughened, over-attentive Y-gen.

She proceeded to hand me the most hideous bras I have ever seen in sizes I had never heard of. Baffled, I checked the bra I was wearing and concluded that the shop must have moved up all the sizes to make people freak out and go on the Atkins diet.

The bra that she handed me looked like a suit of armour. Bright purple with flowers on it.

Seriously. You could have used it for a tent.

The bras in styles that I kind-of liked seemed to be made for 10 year old boys, Paris Hilton and Olive Oyl.

Not that there's anything wrong with small breasts, but if you look more like this:

than this:

then you will probably have a problem finding anything decent in these shops.

I came to the conclusion that the the way to buy bras is to do it the old-fashioned way. Go to the lingerie section at Myer and speak to the nice old ladies in the fitting department.

I think it's much more reassuring to be measured by somebody who has a lot of experience in the quantum physics that is bra fitting.

Personally, I have always liked the Elle Macpherson range. It has some great styles that are beautiful and well designed.

Bendon seems to have a handle on what works and looks good.

And if you get a fitting by someone who knows what they are doing, you can't go wrong.


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